A Man Amongst Men
by SSTR87
Summary: Naruto is taken by an all too familiar duo and raised on a training trip for ten year.s How will Naruto be different with all the chaos that surrounds Ranma?
1. Chapter 1

**A Man Amongst Men**

The night was crisp and cool. The stars hung low, shining their brilliance for all the denizens of Konoha to see. Strangely it was a bit a quite day, followed by an unusually silent night. If one were to ask a random passerby, they might even say that it was eerie.

Off in the distance a man stoop atop a mountain, dressed like a traveling Shinto priest, complete with a four-foot walking pole at the head of which was an iron ring with several smaller rings, all made of brass. The priest began an incantation, one that should he have finished, would have warded the village from whatever hellish affect was awaiting this ninja village.

However, the priest was unable to finish.

Just as the priest began the third verse of his rites, a young redheaded girl bounded and landed directly on the man's shoulders, causing him to let out an odd squawk. Said redhead was of short stature and had wide hips with a large bust. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, and her face was filled with mirth as she continued her forward charge, ignoring as the priest was sent over the edge of the cliff-face, where he plummeted.

Immediately following the redhead was a young blonde girl, easily thirteen years of age. She looked more than a bit miffed as she charged at the buxom redhead. The poor blonde was spindly and had yet to grow into herself. If one were to be a current resident of the village below, they might have though the blonde to be the Yamanaka heir, Ino.

However, that person would be wrong as Ino was currently asleep in her bed.

"Kuso! Get back here so I can pummel the life out of you," called out the blonde, breaking the silence of the village.

The young redhead continued on her way, ignoring the plight and cries of the blonde behind her. "You're a hundred years too early to beat me, kiddo," she called back, over her shoulder. Without turning to face forward, the redhead smashed into and through an ANBU agent who had just ventured to seek out the disturbance.

"OOF!" was the twin cry from the ninja and the redhead. Both fell to the ground, landing in a piled heap of legs and arms.

The blonde, sporting a rather unhealthy smirk at the demise of the redhead, withdrew a dozen kunai and launched them at the downed older girl. "Eat this!" she declared, watching the blades as they sailed true.

The redhead, eyes swirling, was unable to extricate herself, much less evade the oncoming attack. Just as the daggers were about to meet the girl, a wooden sign intercepted the attack..

This wooden sign was unlike any other sign in the world. It took the brunt of the attacks and never gave a single splinter. What made this wooden slab even more spectacular was that it was currently being held.

By a PANDA?!

The panda, in all of its amazing height and glory, narrowed its eyes at the blonde and spun the sign around. Revealing words on the other side. [Naruto, you shouldn't be throwing things,] the sign read. The panda spun it to the other side, revealing that the kunai were gone now, replaced with words that were previously not there. [What kind of a martial artist throws knives at people all the time?]

Naruto, with an angry tic forming over her right temple clenched her hand in a fist. Her words were measured and radiated her aggression, "Genma-oji-san! I told you, I'm not gonna be a martial artist! I'm a ninja! A Nin-ja!" he repeated to emphasize his point.

The Panda, not willing to accept "no" as an answer, held up a new sign. [woe is me! I have a delinquent son that refuses to get married and a dumb blonde bimbo that screams at the top of her lungs about being a ninja...]

Said blonde went to withdraw several more kunai from her pouch, only to realize that the trio was now completely surrounded by ninja.

The panda immediately got rid of the sign it was holding – where it went, no one knows – and opted to lay on its back, playing with a tire. "Opo!" the panda declared, enjoying it's toy. More than a few ninja sweatdropped.

The redhead had finally managed to shake the cobwebs and rose to height mighty five-foot height. "Ano na, oyajii..." she threatened, a massive tic over her eye as her fist trembled with barely restrained rage. "Stop pretending to be an animal... No one's going to fall for that!" she challenged, leaping at the bear.

Only to be intercepted by a handful of ninja. "You there, girl!" challenged a particular ninja, this one wearing a long brown trenchcoat a black skirt and see-through fishnet top with her purple hair tied in a messy bun. "Don't you know pandas are an endangered species! We won't stand by and let you assault one in our village!"

A this declaration half the ninja along with the blonde and redhead all facefaulted, hands in Hawaiian surfer poses.

(Later)

Ahhh, the wonderful village of Konoha. It had been a quiet day, followed by a... mostly quiet night. As it was currently, the only sounds heard was that of the crickets chirping.

"WHAT?!"

That was until a loud shriek was heard...

Sitting now, within the Hokage's office, was a strange sight of a motley crew. Completely different than the trio that were seen outside before. Now, standing before the Hokage were three men. The first of which was a heavyset man in his early sixties sporting a dingy white gi, standing barefoot and sporting a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. The eldest was a bald man, whom – until he spoke – seemed to have an air of Master about him. In the middle was a very annoyed twenty-eight year old Japanese man, wearing along black ponytail, a pair of black Chinese tangs and currently a fishnet shirt beneath a Chinese top with wooden peg buttons. All along the top was a sequestered dragon, wrapping the young man's body, its head landing between his pecs.

The third member was a young blonde boy, his hair short and spiky on top, the back of which was pulled up into a top-knot. He was currently dressed in an orange ninja outfit, more adorned to the myths of Japan and China, rather than the reality of the Elemental Nations. The bottom half of the boy's face was covered with a cloth mask as he glared daggers at the older of the three.

The Hokage, a man by the name of Sarutobi Hiruzen gave no signs of his emotion. "As I stated before, young Ranma here," the eldest paused to indicate the twenty-eight year old and continued, "agreed to take you away for a ten year training mission, where upon your return, you could choose which direction you wanted your life to go."

The oldest of the three opened his mouth to protest, only to have his son elbow him in the gut. "Quiet you!" Ranma demanded.

Genma fell into a fetal position, tears flowing like rivers as he cried out. "Woe is me! To devote my life into raising such an ungrateful brat!" Hiruzen stifled a chuckle at the man's antics. The hidden ninja, known as ANBU marveled at how amazing that Genma's genjutsu was! They could actually feel the moisture from his tears, but as the tears would hit the ground, they no longer seemed to exist.

Moving to console Genma, Hiruzen knelt down to his friend's side. "There there, Genma. I'm certain Ranma will agree to his arranged marriage," he said softly.

Ranma, already agitated was now enraged. A battle aura sprung to life around the young man, and he asked with a very careful drawl, "Pops, Granpops... Just what the HELL are you talking about? I know you didn't arrange a marriage for me AGAIN... Did... you.. pops?"

Genma, oblivious to his son's ire continued conversing with Hiruzen. "Bahaha! You old, fool, we should head out for drinks as we plan for Operation Ranma-Anko: Tag Team Duo!"

Hiruzen, getting caught up in the moment, wrapped his arm around Genma's shoulder as the other man did the same in kind. The two laughed loudly as they began exiting the room. Ranma, seeing he was being ignored, shunshined right in front of the two."Mind telling me, WHY I should be marrying some girl from this village?" His voice was light, but held the cold edge of steel.

Genma gulped, already knowing where this was going. Without a second thought, he splashed himself with cold water and turned into a panda. [You wouldn't hurt an endangered animal would you, Ranma?] asked the wooden sign held up by said endangered animal.

Hiruzen, seeing his friend abandon him to save his own hide, followed suit and tossed a beach ball at the panda. "I'm just a weak old man playing with my pet endangered species panda!" he declared, eyes screwed up so tightly they looked to be closed.

Ranma turned to regard Naruto, "Well kiddo, looks like we're stuck here for awhile. At least til we figure a way out of this mess." Naruto nodded, excited to begin his new life. "Just one question? Where's Gai? I need a sparring partner..." Ranma voiced.

(Elsewhere)

There was a man standing over six foot in height, dressed in an all-green spandex one-piece suit. His eyebrows were thick and furry. And he seemed to have a mini-me beside him. "Lee! I feel a presence that I have sensed in many years! That of my greatest rival and challenge!" he shouted.

The mini-me, named Lee stared up at his sensei, flames burning in his eyes. "Gai-Sensei, your Flames of Youth are burning brighter than ever!" he called out.

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

The two embraced ina manly show of unrivaled Flames of Youthful Energy. This embraced ripped a hole in the space-time continuum, opening a backdrop of a waterfall with a rainbow, the sun gleaming brightly overhead.

What made this scene most disturbing was the fact it took place in the dead of night, and neither man could cast genjutsu.

(A Week Later)

"Hokage-sama," demanded a young ninja, dressed like a secretary, only sporting a hitae-ite as her belt. "Can you put down the sake and get back to work? The papers have been piling up all week!" she demanded.

Hiruzen, the current Hokage, eyed the woman suspiciously. "No! I don' wanna!" he declared, taking another long drag of sake.

Beside the Hokage was an equally plastered martial artist. "You tell her, Hiru-kun! Don't let some weakling make demands of you! She's a woman and she's not drunk! Let her do the paperwork! Bwahahaha!" Genma chortled, as he poured more sake for Hiruzen to drink.

"Yeah... You do the paperwork. Is it so wrong for two old friends to meet up and enjoy each other's presence?" he demanded of the secretary. Begrudgingly, the woman nodded acceptance and left the room fully intent on doing the paperwork.

As the woman left the office, she nearly ran into Ranma, he large frame and chiseled figure drew a gasp and a blush from her. "Excuse me miss, I'll take those papers." he spoke softly, and extended his hand, expectantly.

The secretary was enamored and hadn't heard anything that the young man had said. Seeing the hand proffered before her, the secretary was at a loss. "Um, I'm sorry. What was that?" she asked.

Ranma repeated himself, and left his hand out for the stack of paperwork. "Every time Dad and old man Hiruzen get together I usually foot the bill and do all the old man's paperwork so they can drink." he explained.

The secretary shook her head and handed Ranma the papers. It was definitely a better alternative to doing the Hokage's job and her own. It was difficult enough as it was.

(The Academy)

Naruto was sitting in the class, his attention rapt as he listened to Iruka explain about the graduation exams. "So, you need to perform at least proficiency in at least one of the three greater ninja skills, Whether Genjutsu – which is the art of illusion, Ninjutsu – the art of chakra manipulation or Taijutsu – the art of physical fighting."

Naruto nodded, and started going over the few skills he had learned after having arrived here. Already, he was a master of the school's taijutsu, even having come up with modifications to them, to improve their tactical use. His adaptability was directly in thanks to Ranma and Genma's training of him in the Musabetsu Kakuto Saotome Ryu (Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling).

"Alright class, let's head outside," he ordered, and watched as everyone filed out. To his consternation and pride, the new boy had quickly learned all that he had taught them, which reflected – in his opinion – favorably on his skills as a teacher. "Today we're testing your skills in taijutsu! First is target practice."

As each student was called forth, Iruka and two additional chuunin teachers watched and graded the kids. No one was any the wiser of the blonde being the Kyuubi-child that had vanished some ten years ago. So saying, there was no attempts at sabotage.

Naruto watched with baited breath as a boy named Sasuke was called just before him. The boy had an air of genius about him, though it was tainted and stagnant, as if no one was challenging the child to go further. The Uchiha fired off a series of kunai and shuriken, landing each and every blade in vital spots on the target.

Naruto, alongside all of the fangirls, clapped and cheered for the boy. "That was awesome, Sasuke-san!" he greeted as the stoic boy approached hands in his pockets as if he had not put any effort into the display.

"Hmph," the boy replied, nodding suspiciously at the blonde. "You'd better impress me, Saotome," he challenged. He'd heard many things about the Saotomes from his family. They seemed to be only family to have earned the respect of the Uchiha, despite them being wandering martial artists and not ninja.

Naruto nodded, a great big smile stretched across his face. After being raised by Genma and Ranma Naruto took his new last name with pride ages ago. It didn't help that he was only three when his name was changed, and they were the only family he knew.

Naruto stepped up to the clearing, accepting the throwing weapons from the proctor. "okay," he said, self-assuredly, the all-too-well-known cocky smirk of a Saotome plastered on his face as he flung the daggers and throwing stars. Each weapon struck true, ripping and embedding into the targets before passing cleanly through. "Alright, I'm the best!" Naruto shouted, praising himself. So caught up in patting his own back, he failed to notice more a few eyes turn to assess him. One pair of which belonged to Sasuke Uchiha.

The proctors nodded and charted a passing mark for Naruto. Next will be genjutsu, we'll meet up in the classroom," Iruka commanded as he strode for the door, intent on starting the next series of exams.

(With Ranma)

Saotome Ranma, a man that had set legends, and created history in so many battles in his youth was now an adult. And getting a bit up there in age, at that. In all honesty Ranma could care less about marrying or raising a family. That dream died around his eighteenth birthday, during his failed wedding attempt.

(Flashback)

Ranma awoke, fully-dressed in a tux. As he looked around, he noted his father and soon-to-be father-in-law each dressed up as well. At the far end of the dojo was a priest, standing firmly, prepared to read the vows. It was at the moment that Akane entered, dressed in a white wedding dress that his breath hitched. This was that one moment in life when you don't fight destiny, when you surrender and move forward from that decision.

However, as Akane stood beside him, and he raised the veil to uncover her face, the dojo was ransacked by a plethora of suitors, fiancees, monsters, princes and new rivals, all seeking to challenge the pair. It didn't help that Ranma watched as his school's grandmaster drank the cask of the only remaining "Cursed Water of Drowned Boy", which would have freed Ranma of his curse.

(End Flashback)

"Yeah," he drawled, a sweatdrop sliding down his head. "I'm never getting married. No way, no how!"

Of course, it was at this moment that Ranma's newest fiance, one Mitarashi Anko appeared, a huge grin threatening to split her face in half. "Ranma-kun,' she called out, and took a death-defying leap to land in the young man's lap. "When is the wedding taking place?"

Ranma closed his eyes and exhaled, doing his best to ignore the woman. However, it didn't last long as the snake-mistress began softly sliding certain parts of her body against certain parts of Ranma's body. To his defense, Ranma never rose to the occasion, earning a disappointed pout.

"Am I ugly, Ranma-kun?" she demanded, seeing as she got no reaction. At Ranma's nervous shake of his head, Anko continued, "am I too aggressive then?" Again Ranma shook his head. His fiance Shampoo was a Chinese Amazon, deadset on attaining him as her husband or facing death herself, there was no way that Anko was even a quarter as aggressive. Besides, she didn't even know what magic was, much less did she try using it on him. "Then, I don't get it! Ten years I've been here waiting and now that you're here, you don't even want to touch me!" she cried out.

Ranma, eyes held tightly shut, spoke softly. "Mitarashi-san," he began, but was cut off. "Anko-chan, to you, stud-muffin," she interjected. Ranma pointedly ignored her. "If I acknowledged you as my fiance do you have any idea what would happen?"

Anko, being innocent to the situation as it was, merely shook her head. Ranma nodded, sagely, though how he knew she was shaking her head in the negative while his eyes were closed was a mystery best left unsolved. "Well, first of all, I'd have to settle in here to spend time with you." he began.

Anko nodded, not yet seeing a problem. Obviously they would have to get to know each other. "Okay, so you don't want to settle down, I get it. You are a wandering martial artist. But you can always go on missions like you used to!" she tried, a grin plastered on her face, refusing to go away even for a moment.

Ranma shook his head, "That's not it. Let me finish first." At Anko's nod, Ranma continued. "I still have twenty-five other fiances my pops got me engaged to, a Chinese Amazon that I managed to screw the pooch on, and half-bird half-human woman named Kiira that wants me to impregnate her so she can have stronger children in her nation after I wiped out her kingdom and killed their god."

Anko took this tale with a large grain of salt. Sure Ranma had always boasted to be the best, but she'd never seen him go beyond the skills of Maito Gai. And there was no way Gai could kill a god, and she'd never even heard of Chinese Amazons in all of her travels. But, yet and still, she gave a polite nod, indicating that Ranma should continue his reasons.

"If I say yes, then all of a sudden you'll have at least two suitors that want to kill me even time they see me. Just to get you to love them. Then to make matters better, random magical princes will appear and kidnap you on a monthly basis, and I'll spend who knows how long trying to get you back. And if that's not good enough, most, if not all, of my former fiances will find this village and I'll be waking up to the Nerima Wrecking Crew: Konoha Version all over again!" he spat, highly annoyed.

"You mean..." Anko began, a strange look in her eye. The hesitation caused Ranma to open his eyes, which proved tobe a bad idea, as the trench coat covered very little with her on his lap like some kind of delighted c-c-c... furry creature. "You mean... you'd come to my rescue if I got kidnapped?" she finally managed to get out, stars in her eyes.

Ranma facefaulted. "You mean out of everything I just said, the only thing you got out of it was that I would come rescue you?" Anko nodded like a lovestruck teen. "Every girl's fantasy is to be saved by her ninja in wire-mesh armor!" Anko chirped. From the door way a few muffled "yes"'s were heard.

Hanging his head low, knowing that he had already lost this argument - as women never seemed to back down from a marital claim, no matter how outlandish the validity was - Ranma resigned himself to fate. "Okay, fine. One month to be engaged. If all hell breaks loose, I'm outta here. Got it?"

Anko shook her head no, "You owe me for ten years of being a spinster, mister! You're not escaping in a mere month's time! You owe me at least five years!" she declared.

Ranma sighed, "What do I have to do to get out of this mess?" he asked no one in particular.

However, the answer came in the form a male ninja bursting through a wall, screaming the only answer Ranma ever got...

"DIE! SAOTOME RANMA!" roared none other than Ibiki Morino, his face scrunched up as he came to a rest, sliding along the floor, his long, black trench coat billowing with the remnants of the man's abrupt arrival.

Ranma sweatdropped. "Let me guess, he knows you, and secretly is in love with you, and now that I'm here he's going to kill me to gain your heart?" Ranma tried. Anko shrugged, unsure of the answer herself.

Ibiki glared hateful daggers at Ranma. If looks could kill, Ranma would be dead a thousand times over. "If you want to know. Anko-san has been my student, and then my partner over the last ten years. She's the only woman in all of Konoha that understands the pleasures of torturing ninja til they talk. But you! You want to take my one true chance at happiness! Isn't it bad enough you abandoned her for ten years?"

Ranma shrugged, and rose to his full height. "That's one, Anko-san," he chided, ticking off on his fingers the number of slights against himself on her behalf.

Without preamble Ibiki bit his thumb and flashed through handsigns. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" he called out, summoning a torture room. This one was made especially for Anko. It had snakes hanging along the walls, slithering everywhere, all their beady eyes pointing at one Saotome Ranma, whom had been bound and tied to a pillar in the center.

"Umm, Ibiki-san, can this fight wait a little bit?" he pleaded. The sadist didn't seem to be in a listening mood. "Seriously, I'm in the middle of paperwork and if I get blood on them I'm going to be so screwed," Ranma finished, motioning towards a stack of papers off to the side, somehow having managed to remain within the summoned room.

Ibiki grinned cruelly and set the snakes after Ranma. He watched with amusement as the creatures ate the flesh from the wanderer's bones. He cackled like a mad man.

However as joyous as his victory had been, he now found himself back in his ANBU T&I office filling out stacks of papers. Even as he looked up to the three hundred sheets he'd finished, there was still millions more, and the stacks only continued to grow.

(Elsewhere)

Sasuke was glaring daggers at the Saotome in his class. The exams had just finished for the day, and so far, the blonde had proved to do everything... EVERYthing that he himself had done, but with far greater detail, strength and precision. It was like looking at his older brother again. And he hated thoughts of his older brother.

So as Naruto was exiting the Academy, chuckling as he spoke with a handful of the other students, gaining a lot of the popularity that Sasuke did not like, the Uchiha decided to attack. Sailing down from a tree across the way, His body twisted viciously, spinning into a roundhouse kick that by all rights should have severed the blonde's head from his shoulder.

Only the blonde was no longer there. Sasuke didn't even have time to flinch as his senses screamed the incoming attack was from behind. A hard kick sent the Uchiha forward a step, but before he ever set his foot tot he ground to catch his forward momentum, the blonde was before him! 'A Bunshin! Impossible,' was the last though as Naruto sent thirty thunderous kicks into the black haired boy's gut. The last of the kicks sent Sasuke rolling back, limply, half conscious.

It was only as Naruto got a good look at the downed boy that he realized his mistake. "Sasuke-san! I'm sorry I thought you were dad!" he cried out and rushed to the boy's side to help him back up. The Uchiha, letting his pride get the better of him, swept his arm around to push away Naruto's help.

"I see my family's respect of you Saotomes was not unwarranted. But, this is the last you ever best me, Naruto," Sasuke declared as he stalked away. 'I need to awaken my Sharingan! It's the only way to get stronger than _him_.'

Naruto with a sweatdrop watched his new friend stalk off. Giving a huge grin, Naruto rubbed the back of his head, realizing he now had his very first rival. "Yatta! Sasuke and I are gonna push each other to the limits one day!" he declared, earning a few sidelong glances from those walking the streets around him. More than a few passersby shuffled with their children to the other side of the street as the blonde cackled to himself, insanely.

High up above, as the sun was readying to set, the call of a crow could be heard.

"Aho! Aho! Aho-ka?"

(With Ranma)

Ranma was enjoying himself, Anko had taken him to her favorite odango stand and he was currently treating her. While spending money was not something Saotomes did on a constant basis, this time was worth it. He had pilfered the money from an unconscious Ibiki Morino after locking him into a genjutsu of ever growing paperwork. So saying, he was happily treating Anko to a meal.

Anko was on the other side of the table, purring – quite literally at that – with a very contented smile stretched across her face. "Mmmm, delicious!" she intoned. No matter how many times she had these odango, they always tasted great from here. What them all the more enjoyable was.. "Ranma-kun, this is the best date ever!" she declared loudly.

All heads in the stand turned to address the pair, eyes wide, taking stock of who the idiot that would date the crazy snake lady would be. If the declaration was a surprise then setting eyes on the man - whom as a boy of eighteen had single-handed fought Sarutobi to a stalemate - across from her was was gobsmacking.

Ranma sweated profusely,. "Anko are you trying to get kidnapped or something?" Ranma demanded, as he waved his hands in a placating manner. Sadly for him, at the very same moment, a certain red-eyed jounin happened to just be walking up to her best friend, perfectly timed to have one of Ranma's hands land squarely on her left breast.

Silence...

Absolute silence...

Time seemed to stand still, all eyes on Ranma, Anko and Kurenai. No one dared to move. No one dared to breath. Ranma, unbelieving of the situation did what he did best, that being, an attempt at backpedaling. This only served to worsen the situation, as he was still sitting in a chair, which served to tip him back, making his arms windmill to keep himself from losing balance. This resulted in Kurenai's perception; in that Ranma wound up his arms and slapped her on the rear. HARD.

The blush from Kurenai was highly unexpected. For you see, the jounin loved to be smacked on the rear, and for this handsome man to be willing to do, and in public before all of her comrades spoke of huge gusto and bravado. Kurenai still had yet to know of whom it was she was laying eyes on, only because she was a child at the time and in the academy waiting for her jounin sensei to arrive.

However, the ftes taking as much delight in Ranma's misfortune as possible, decided now would be the best time to send in Cupid with one of his annoying arrows.

Cupid, a small but mirthful demigod, with the appearance of a Christian angel, drew back and fired an arrow at Ranma. It was always more fun to watch the boy try to get the girl, than seeing him trying to flee.

Ranma, still off balance, fell at that exact moment, the arrow missing him by a wide margin and landing squarely in the chest of a young kunoichi that just happened to be rounding a corner, locked in a heated debate with her eternal rival.

(Outside)

Sakura was glaring daggers at Ino. "Sasuke is going to be MY boyfriend! Just wait until team placements! I'm going to be assigned to the same team, and we'll fall in love and live happily ever after!" she declared.

Ino drew back her sleeve and rounded on the pinkette, eyes locking fiercely on one another, and lightning seeming to erupt between the two fangirls.

It was as the two glared that an errant arrow lodged itself deep within the chest of one Haruno Sakura.

The pinkette gasped suddenly. Ino drew back a small step, concern on her face. It wasn't like Sakura to let up, and if her friend was short of breath from a staredown, then obviously something had to be wrong with her. "S-Sakura-chan? Are you alright?" she inquired.

Sakura's hardened gaze melted instantly, and her eyes filled with hearts and admiration as she gazed on Ino's visage. "U-Um.. Ino-chan. I'm so sorry that I've made fun of your looks for all these years! You're the most beautiful girl I've ever set sights on!" she declared rather loudly.

Within Sakura, an inner voice could be heard shouting poetry – albeit bad poetry – about her love for Ino.

Ino took a step back, clearly confused. "Umm, Sakura-chan," the blonde tried, looking a bit nervously at her new-found admirer. "What are you talking about?"

(Up Above)

Naruto was roofhopping, something he reveled. This was all good, but as he was just clearing an open window, a woman, emptying her flowerpot tossed a bit of water out, splashing the blonde boy, turning him into a her. Naruto paused, and glared at the woman through the window. "Hey! Watch what yer doin next time, lady!" he shouted, falling into the male dialect of Japanese.

It was rather odd hearing a young female voice speak like a ruffian, and it drew the woman out of her window to see who might be speaking in such a way. "I-Ino-chan? I'm sorry I didn't see you there," the woman hastily apologized. The last thing the woman needed was Inoichi hearing about his daughter's beauty being marred by a careless customer. She could not afford to pay any extra on the rare flowers she loved to collect.

"Whatever," Naruto drawled. He'd been called Ino several times already upon his many transformations. It still irked him that he was confused with the Yamanaka girl. He didn't personally feel the two looked anything alike.

Suddenly, Naruto spotted Ranma, his – currently "her" - adoptive father, in an odango shop, feeling up a tall, alluring black haired woman, while his fiance looked on mostly amused. "Only pops would find himself in this situation," she thought aloud to herself.

Ignoring the apologies of the crazy woman with the plants,. Naruto launched herself to the ground, landing right in between Ino and Sakura, just as Sakura launched for a full-blown kiss. Naruto found her lips entrapped in by a crushing force applied by the equally soft lips of Sakura. Naruto let out a soft moan.

Ino had to do a double-take. For some strange reason, she could swear that she was out of her body and watching herself getting kissed by Sakura. But, to her knowledge she hadn't used her family style jutsu...

Or had she?

As Sakura released the blonde from the endearing kiss she beheld a sight that her could not, would not wrap itself around. There were two of her beloveds. One that she just kissed, and another standing just to the side.

(With Cupid)

Cupid was currently on the ground laughing his ass off as Ranma was pummeled into the ground by an irate, and rightfully so, Kurenai. She was currently screaming bloody murder, and calling the young man every shade of pervert.

By chance, Cupid spotted his arrow lodged into the chest of a pink-haired girl a distance away, staring, mesmerized, at two of the same girl. Cupid had to do a double take. He hadn't been to this village in awhile, but he couldn't recall seeing many twins here, especially being blondes.

Giving a shrug, the demigod figured this could only get more interesting, and spotting an approaching group of boys, Cupid fired a series of arrows, as expertly as Odysseus. The bolt flew true and struck the chests of Shikamaru, Sasuke and Kiba. "That should level the playing field," thought Cupid as the boys looked at the three girls. It just so happened that Sasuke was glowering at a mental image of Naruto, thus his affixed desire became a bit skewed.

Kiba, once a young horn-dog, was now infatuated with Sakura. His mind would not leave from the girl as he laid eyes upon her. "Sakura-san, marry me!" he shouted as he launched to meet the girl. With a swift motion, he had the pinkette in his arms and dipped her low, as he was currently bringing his head down to place a kiss on her sultry lips.

Shikamaru, though under the influence and enthralled with Ino, had a mind that only allowed him to speak one word. Even as he gazed upon the impossibility of two differently dressed Inos. "Troublesome."

Naruto seeing the girl that had just kissed him getting roughly handled, made to act. The petite blonde brought a fist down on Kiba's head, successfully braining him. "Keep your hands to yourself, Kiba!" she threatened, barely restrained rage causing her body to vibrate.

Ino took this whole situation with class.

She fainted...

End Chapter


	2. Chapter 2

**A Man Amongst Men**

Ranma was lying on the roof of an abandoned house in the Uchiha district. Strange at it may seem, Sasuke had invited Ranma, Naruto and Genma to live here. He had stated it was the least he could do.

Ranma had noted a strange glint to the boy's eyes, as if magic was influencing him. "Nah! There's no magic here," Ranma sighed, trying to reassure himself. The last thing he needed was to bring his old life's drama with him to a somewhat peaceful place like this.

Thus, it was with extreme effort that Ranma resisted the urge to flee when he felt Anko land beside himself. "Ranma-kun," she started, a small blush adorning her cheeks. "I've been saving myself for you, all this time you know."

Ranma arched a single eyebrow, not quite disbelieving, but more incredulous to he situation. "Seriously?" he wondered. He hadn't expected the words to actually escape his mouth, and as soon as he heard his voice, he regretted them.

Anko, an angry tick sporting withdrew an item, Ranma hadn't seen since he was seventeen and with the Tendos in japan. Good old trusty Mallet-sama was summoned without a blood sacrifice, into Anko's hands and she swung hard and true.

(The Village Hidden in the Leaves)

The night was quiet, though the day had not been. The wind blew through the village cooling the skin to all that were out and about.

The silence was not to last however...

"RANMA NO BAKA!" Came the shout of Anko's voice, followed by the unimaginable sight of Ranma hurtling through the air, sailing into the distance.

"Uncute Tomboy!" Ranma shouted back, only to receive a boot sailing even faster than he was straight to the head.

(Later)

It was early morning. The sun had yet to awaken, nor did it wish to rise. No, the night was still aging. But, a certain man thought this to be the perfect time to invade the room of a certain sleeping blonde boy.

Said man was rather portly, or so he appeared to be, but the truth was it was all refined muscle. Dressed in an all white gi, complete with a handkerchief for a facemask, and a bald head, the intruder brandished his weapon of choice, and fired it off.

The weapon struck true, nailing the sleeping Naruto.

Naruto awoke with a splutter as she was currently thoroughly drenched in water. "Oji-san! I'm gonna kill you!" she shrieked, leaping from the bed, and throwing dozens of kunai at the old man. The man quickly dashed out of the window.

"You've got to do better than that, brat! Especially if you want to beat me!" Genma challenged, the light of the moon revealing the masked man's identity. Genma was poised, ready to strike or retreat at a moment's notice. Already several ANBU were in the area, watching the scene unfold. The shouting _had_ been rather loud, and alerted most of the village.

Naruto growled low and took a stance on all fours, chakra seeming to extend from his knuckles as he took a stance Ranma had taught the boy, after perfecting the "training" methods. "I'll beat you this morning, Oji-san! And then you'll have to leave me alone to sleep from now on!"

Genma snorted derisively. The boy had been making that same declaration for many years. "Boy, you'll never beat me, even if you use that red energy of yours! You might as well-" whatever else Genma wanted to say was cut off as Naruto leaped forward, claws extended and ready.

It was at this same moment that Ranma arrived, leaning heavily on a walking stick and carrying a rucksack, filled to the brim with supplies. His eyes were baggy and it looked as if the young man hadn't eaten or slept in weeks, despite only being gone a few hours.

Naruto, unseeing of his father carried on, pressing the attack on Genma, chakra claws shredding through everything, and tearing up the old man's gi. Genma, despite his clothes being haggard, was no worse for the wear. With a swift motion, Genma evaded the next series of attacks and kicked the blonde down. Hard.

A loud splash and a muffled splutter was the only indication of Naruto landing in a koi pond.

Of course, Ranma being who he was, and inviting chaos everywhere he ventured, just so happened to be splashed by the water.

If that didn't make things bad enough, as Ranma regenerated to his buxom sixteen-year-old female form, he was accosted by a random strip of cloth. The cloth turned on its own, wrapping her cute little body up.

"No... it can't be," she whispered, breathlessly.

Much to Ranma's consternation and silent pleading, a laugh pierced the sky. "OHHH HOHOHOHO!" The shrill cry of the Siren set the nerves on fire. Several on the ANBU raced away, having experienced this maniacal sound before. The younger and stouthearted remained.

Ranma-chan shuddered, barely repressing her fear. "K-Kodachi-san?" she tried, her voice soft and saccharine. In fact, it was so sickeningly sweet, it could rot a grown man's teeth.

Said woman stepped forward, a dangerous smile adorning her face. "Lo and behold, I find you here, Red haired harlot," she drawled, her rhythmic gymnastics ribbon squeezing tighter.

Ranma shuddered. "W-What are you doing here?" she tried, hoping to get at least one of her out of the confounded cloth.

Kodachi only stepped closer, a dangerous gleam flashing through her eyes. "I've come to this peasant town to find my dearest Ranma-sama. Now I must ask you the same thing." Eyes narrowing even more, a deathly aura spreading out. "Why are you here? And where are you hiding my Ranma-sama?" she demanded.

Just as events were getting heated, Naruto, in female form just happened to be exiting the water. "Aunty Kodachi-san?" she asked, unsure what was going on.

Kodachi rounded on the female voice. "Who, pray-tell are you?" Kodachi demanded.

Naruto hung her cute head. "It's me, Naruto. I got cursed to turn into a girl..." she began, her voice light. "See my whiskers? Who else has these?" she pointed out, showing the whiskers to the _slightly_ deranged woman.

Kodachi put a delicate hand to her chin, deep in thought. "Hmm, well you do certainly have whiskers on your face. But, my darling Naruto-kun was a boy. And you my dear, are most assuredly a girl," Kodachi continued, trying to reason out some facts as she made a gesture to wet, half-dressed state of Naruto.

Naruto looked down and noted she was disheveled. While raised out in the wild like her father, Naruto had the common sense and decency to show modesty. Thus she "Eep"ed and tried to hurriedly cover any exposed girly bits.

"W-wait a minute!" Naruto shouted, waving her hands before herself to stave off the oncoming attacks from the rhythmic clubs. Kodachi waited a spell, entertaining the girl. "Just let me pour some of this hot water on me, and you'll see!" she tried, hoping to reason with the woman.

So saying and doing, Kodachi marveled as the blonde girl turned into her darling – in her mind stepson but in reality no relation – Naruto-kun. "What? I-Impossible..."

Ranma by this point was still tightly bound and was growing extremely irritated as Kodachi accepted Naruto's curse. "Ano na..." she intoned, her voice a low growl. "I am Ranma, Kodachi. Now let me go!" she shouted.

Kodachi turned to the charlatan and glared. "You, peasant shall remain silent! I'm talking with my darling step-son. Unless you want me to thoroughly thrash you, then I'd suggest remaining their until Gama-sama arrives to deal with you!"

Ranma visibly sweatdropped and using a strength usually reserved for combat, ripped the ribbon to pieces, and poured a hot pot of water on her head, turning into a male.

Kodachi, sadly had her attention focused on Naruto, and missed the change entirely. But, she did note the slack in her ribbon, drawing her attention to a perfectly fine, well-chiseled and clean, if slightly wet, Ranma. "Ranma-sama!" she called in greeting, leaping the distance of the field to land in his embrace. "I'm so glad to see you again, after so long! I've come to give you good news of our last parting!" she declared, oblivious to the annoyed tick mark above his head.

Naruto couldn't help but chuckle at his father's plight. "Hey dad, when did you get here?" he asked.

Ranma glared daggers at Naruto. "You know... That ain't funny, brat!" Ranma called out.

It was at this time, with the tension lessened that Genma arrived again, this time wearing handkerchief on his bald head instead of as a facemask. "What's been keeping you so long, Naru-" his speech was cut off as he spotted the crazy girl that followed them from Nerima. 'This is bad,' he thought, glumly, 'I thought Ranma had ditched her a couple years ago.'

Ranma turned to his father. "You and Naruto can finish up your spar, I've just gotten word that Maito Gai is back from his courier mission with his students." Ranma addressed, cracking his knuckles and releasing a small bit of his battle aura.

Kodachi swooned, loving the feel of Ranma's aura around her. "Ranma-sama, might I accompany you?" she inquired, her voice going soft and innocent as a child pleading of a parent, or a slave of its master.

Ranma shot his cocky grin her way and gave a brief nod as he turned to leave.

(Elsewhere)

Ino was beside herself. Her best friend for years was now in love with her, and apparently she had an out of body experience at the moment she was given the kiss. "Mo! I hope that doesn't happen every time I get a kiss!" she whined, imagining the day Sasuke would kiss her.

Suddenly the fantasy became a nightmare and she imagined seeing Sasuke kissing her from afar, no longer in her body at the moment their lips touched. "NOOOO!" she cried out, banishing the thought. "That does it!" she declared, firming her resolve. "As soon as dad gets back from his mission I'm asking him for the talk!" she declared.

(A Little Later)

The Sun was high in the sky, shining brilliantly. The denizens of Konoha were perplexed. All morning long the villagers were picking up black rose petals. They littered the streets and rooftops everywhere. But, for life of everyone there, no one could recall ever having seen, nor heard of Black Roses.

Anko was a bit miffed. After bashing Ranma for being an insensitive jerk, she had come home. Only when she got there, Kurenai was holding a photo of Ranma, blushing as scarlet as her namesake. After confronting the woman and discovering her best friend wanted her fiance, Anko declared the two rivals and set a challenge date for the hand of Ranma.

Unbeknownst to Anko or Kurenai, a certain man on the other side of the village was going through paperwork and read something that startled him. Something interesting indeed. "Hmm, most promising. Maybe I can get rid of my failure of a daughter without losing face after all," Hiashi thought aloud, stroking his chin in thought. For you see, in his hand he held a document signed by Genma that his heir – in Genma's mind, being Ranma – would marry whatever Hyuuga that Hiashi deemed worthy for the price of a bowl of Miso soup and two stalks of bamboo.

Waiting in her Academy classroom for Genin team placements, Hinata was watching naruto, perplexed. She never seen the boy before, and having watched his skills, yet his carefree attitude, inspired her to be a bit more outspoken. Just as she steeled the resolve to get up from her seat and approach Naruto, Hinata sneezed.

Right into Naruto's face.

Hinata went beet red and fainted at the awkward situation.

(The Edge of Konoha, some fifty miles from the village)

Ranma tore through the clearing, racing like some deranged elephant. He had one thing on his mind, and as he sensed the battle aura nearing, Ranma redoubled his pace, set to find his sparring partner for a good fight.

(Hokage Tower)

Hiruzen had a throbbing migraine, and he wasn't happy. His darling secretary saw fit to remove all sake from him and Genma. Now the two were coming down from their party. "Ne, Genma-kun?" Hiruzen addressed.

Genma, whose back was turned to Hiruzen as he sipped from a hidden sake bottle, grunted. "What is it Hiruzen-kun?" he asked.

Hiruzen could swear he smelled sake from somewhere. "What should we do today? We finished the paperwork already,"

Genma rose to his full height spun on a heel and turned to address his old friend. "I think we should get your secretary married off!"

The Hokage raised a brow questioningly, "Where did you get that idea?"

"It's simple! If she's busy planning her wedding she won't have the time to hide our sake bottles and we party as much as we want!"

With a hangover-addled mind, Hiruzen saw nothing wrong with Genma's idea. "Hm, that's not too bad of an idea, now is it?"

Genma and Hiruzen immediate stood to their tallest height, enacting a genjutsu that made a large paper fan with the flag of Japan printed on it as their background, streamers of confetti rained down and the two declared loudly: "Operation Marry The Secretary is officially under way!"

(With Naruto)

"Um, what's wrong with the girl?" Naruto asked all around him. No one answered, merely shrugging their shoulders.

Ino was in a world of her own. She was still puzzling about the previous day's events. Her father had yet to come home, so the girl was still at a loss. No answers were forthcoming, and other than her clan members, Ino had no one to turn to about her unique problem.

Sasuke was eying Naruto up and down. To any that looked upon the boy, it seemed as if he were assessing a piece of meat. However, no one called to question the reasoning abilities of the fangirls, so saying, they saw Sasuke assessing a rival. Many girls sported nosebleeds at the prospect of Naruto and Sasuke going at in the bedroom and on the field, and in the locker room...

Leaving those thoughts alone.

Kiba was vexed, he so wanted to kiss his darling Sakura-chan, but as he looked upon her and watched as she ogled Ino, he was extremely jealous. Jumping up from his seat, Kiba landed on the table in front of the class's most attractive blonde. "Ino..." he addressed, glaring daggers.

The classroom went silent, all eyes on Kiba and Ino, whispers f a confession being made quickly spread. Ino was at a loss. She wasn't sure if the rumors were true or not, but having Kiba's face so close was very disconcerting.

Finally, Kiba spoke again, allowing the girl to release the breath she hadn't been aware of holding. "I challenge you to a fight! You and me, one on one! The winner gets the hand of Sakura-chan!" he declared.

If the rumors spreading were not bad enough, now they were a raging inferno. Talk of Ino being so pretty because she was a lesbian spread quickly. The rumors of Sakura being the Uke of the relationship as she acted very tsundere also spread out. Sakura swooned, thinking of her love fighting for her hand.

However it was at this moment, before Ino could accept or deny, that Iruka arrived in the room. "Okay class, settle down! Shino, help Hinata back to her seat. Kiba sit down in your desk!" Iruka shouted, commanding everyone's attention.

Iruka drawled about the importance of teamwork and the reasons for having four-man cells for over an hour. Finally, his speech finished, he began calling out teams. "Team 7: Saotome Naruto," as he spoke the name, Sasuke's breath hitched, hoping with all of his heart to be placed with the boy. "Haruno Sakura,"

Sasuke felt the pit of his gut drop. 'That's one name down. Please, Iruka sensei,' he silently pleaded.

"Uchiha Sasuke."

"YES!" Sasuke shouted, earning several eyes on him, questioningly gazing at his outburst. Thinking quickly he noted, "I get a strong partner and the only female that's not a fangirl on my team!" Everyone seemed to buy this statement and went back to listening to Iruka.

"Oookay... Team 8-"

(With Ranma)

Saotome Ranma was standing face to face with Maito Gai, neither man flinching as the two stared the other down. Team Gai watched on as their sensei and as of yet unnamed man were preparing to fight. Lee's eyes were alight with the flames of his youth. Neji had already activated his Byakugan, and Tenten was just at a loss. She could feel the tension in the air between the two and the Barometric pressure seemed to increase.

Never before had the young trio felt a presence like these two. It was certainly an homage to Gai's nickname, The Green Beast of Konoha. But, apparently the man across from him was every bit the beast as well.

"Maito Gai, Jounin of Konoha," Ranma drawled, his dialect slipping into the male variant. Gai's face was screwed up in discontent. He could tell that this pressure was familiar, however the face was different. "I Saotome Ranma challenge you!" he completed.

As the name was stated a light seemed to turn on in Gai's head. "Ah! You're Ranma-dono!" he exclaimed causing said challenger to facefault.

"Dammit Gai!" Ranma shouted, climbing back to his feet. "You should have known that by my aura!"

"Bwahahaha! My Lifelong Rival has returned I see," Maito Gai declared, his eyes alight with an indiscernible flame. Ranma clenched his eyes closed, ignoring the man's attempts at riling him up. "Now we can finally settle the score between us! I will come out on top, and you will be second best!"

Ranma flashed forward. There was no other way of describing it, Ranma was standing still one moment and simply in front of Gai the next. With a grin plastered to both faces, Ranma was happy to see that Gai could block his knee-strike.

For the trio watching however, they were all knocked clean off of their feet as the density in air seemed to shrunk in on itself and then exploded. Neji's eyes were wide. Even with his Byakugan, his mind could not process the speed with which Ranma had just moved. He barely caught the movement of Gai's block!

Lee could only watch, enraptured with the display. He was able to see Ranma's movement, but only barely just. "Sugoi," he breathed.

Ranma leaped a distance back and took a familiar stance, one leg forward, most of his weight shifted tot eh back leg. He had one hand raised to his chest height while the other was lying in wait just above his hips. Gai, seeing the challenge in his rival's eyes surged forward, blurring out of sight as he met Ranma with a high kick.

Ranma reacted swiftly, bringing a forearm up to block the head blow, and taking the brunt of the man's brutish strength. "Well, you've definitely gotten stronger, I'll give you that, Gai. However, it's not strong enough!" So saying, Ranma swiftly whipped his arm around, and caught the leg at the ankle with his hand, locking down like a vice. "Game over?" Ranma challenged, seeing Gai unable to free his trapped appendage.

Gai and his team of Genin were more than amazed to see Ranma lift the greenclad man in the air and slam him into the ground to his sides repeatedly. It was rather comical even, if not for the deepening craters on both sides. After the tenth slam, Ranma released Gai to allow the Jounin to gather his wits about him.

Just as Gai got to his feet, he began releasing his inner gates, all the way up to the "Sixth Gate: Open!" Gai declared, his battle aura looking more like a fiery inferno than anything else. Charging at Ranma, his vigor renewed, the martial artist could only grin.

With a tremendous boom, which threw the kids down again, Ranma and Gai vanished from sight, fighting at higher than sound speeds. Ever so often in the distance and near the trio an explosion would rock, and debris would fly about. It was all the kids could do to stay away from the onslaught.

After five minutes of this extreme level of combat, the two slowed to visibility. Neither seemed to be hurt, though their clothes were a bit shredded. "Gai-sensei!" Lee bellowed. "Are you sure your body can take this kind of strain?"

Gai, panting heavily as opposed to Ranma's light panting had to concede the point. However, he refused to give in before defeating his archrival, Ranma. "It's okay, Lee-kun!" Gai replied, ignoring the slight tremble in his arms.

Ranma breathed in deeply and exhaled slow. "Don't worry, Lee, Gai and I are just about finished. This is the decisive blow. One last series of attacks to either beat the other or end as a draw.'

Lee nodded, eyes intent and hoping to see this exchange. "Fight, Gai-sensei!" he cheered, pumping his fist in the air, his flames of youth adding power and renewed energy to Gai. Ranma could only glower, wishing he had a mini-me.

"Ready? " Ranma challenged.

"Three-" Gai replied

"Two."

"One!"

The two blasted forward, ripping up the terrain and destroying everything in their path. Gai's entire being was set ablaze as he opened the Eighth gate, and Ranma was encased in a blame flame, his chakra visible for all to see. When the two met in the center, the air distorted, warped and folded in on itself, gravity held no power and all the color spectrum seemed to distort.

(Within Konoha)

Genma and Hiruzen looked up, feeling a huge mass of chakra off to the distant south. "Genma-kun, what do you suppose that is?"

Genma shrugged, and took another sip, as he signed his name to a document, officiating Ranma's engagement to Hiruzen's secretary. It didn't matter that Genma knew not the woman's name, all he cared was that he'd have another excuse to drink for alcohol without interference.

Said secretary had just happened to enter the room, she stood a paltry four-foot-nine and was built like a stick. While she had reached Genin, she had no skills to go any further, so like many of the village, she was a trained shinobi, but had better skills that lay elsewhere.

Hiruzen who hastily signed his name to the document, greeted the woman, "Aoi-san, please make sure to deliver this missive to the grand hall," he instructed, as he rolled up the official marriage edict, and handed it off to her. The woman looked about the room, smelling alcohol, yet she could not for the life of her find a single bottle. With narrowed eyes she took the scroll and bowed before quickly departing.

Hiruzen and Genma quickly unfurled their victory fans. "Yatta! Operation is a success!" Genma cheered as the confetti appeared once more, falling from the air about the two.

Hiruzen, hugging one arm around Genma chanted, "Marriage! Chachacha! Marriage! Chachacha!"

"Say Genma-kun," Hiruzen called out, reflecting on an odd suspicion. "Who did you write in for the male?"

Genma shrugged, 'I wrote Ranma's name in of course! After all, I don't the names of any of your ninjas, except you! I don't think you'd wanna marry that woman, would you?" Genma declared, stressing the idea that it was a bad one to marry a woman who wouldn't let you drink.

Hiruzen stroked his chin and had no choice but to nod, and concede the point.

(Academy)

Naruto's head whipped in the direction of his father's chakra. "Oyaji, what are you doing?" he wondered, his attention caught between that of Sakura whom had kissed him the day before, and his new friend Sasuke that was looking at him with admiration in his eyes.

Sasuke had heard the faint sound of Naruto's voice, and regarded the words uttered. "You mean... That pressure is your father?" he asked, gaining Sakura's attention.

"What pressure are you talking about Sasuke-kun?" she asked.

Naruto nodded, wistfully looking out the window. "Yeah, that's my dad. He's fighting someone, but he's wasting a lot of energy in doing so... Must be a spar or something." he reflected.

Sasuke snorted. There was no way that Ranma could much better than the output, he was already feeling. However, Naruto would never lie to him. Or so Sasuke's mind was telling him, rose-hued glasses and all.

Finally, after three hours of waiting, Kakashi appeared in the doorway, to assess his students. All three seemed to be gazing out the window in the direction of Gai and Ranma's sparring session. Kakashi had just returned from watching. The last thing he wanted was to be Gai's punching bag after losing to Ranma again!.

"Okay, I'm your new sensei," Kakashi drawled, getting the attention of the three surprised kids.

Sasuke eyed the Jounin up and down suspiciously. Naruto was amazed that the man was able to suppress his chakra so well. Sakura was just startled.

"My first impression of you three... I like you."

Naruto grinned with a cocky smirk.

**End Chapter**


	3. Chapter 3

**A Man Amongst Men**

Time was standing still as Ranma and Gai traded blows. There was no point in breathing at the rate of speed they were traveling, as the air could not flow in or out of their lungs fast enough, so the two held in what air they gulped earlier. Their fight was similar to watching two men underwater, just sped up to an insane degree.

It did not matter if the two were rightside up, upside down or just hovering; they would clash, trade blows, back off and repeat the process. To these two men, it felt like an eternity, but for anyone watching, only a minute had actually passed.

Finally The two punched each other with the force to shatter mountains, Ranma hit in the gut, and Gai hit in the solar plexus. Both exhaled sharply and dropped to more humanistic speeds. Laughing as they panted, the two gave a thumbs up sign to one another.

"I... guess... it's.. a draw?" drawled Ranma, panting between each breath.

Gai's eyes had lost their fire and he seemed to be fading from consciousness as he stood there. "Yeah..."

(Academy)

Kakashi was sitting on the roof of the school, his three students standing before him. "So tell me about yourselves," he requested.

Sakura eyed the man suspiciously, "Why don't you tell us about you first. As an example." she tried.

Kakashi nodded, "well, I guess I'll start things off. I'm Kakashi. I like many things, and I don't like a lot of things. Now, you're turn Sakura."

Sakura's inner voice was screaming that the Jounin cheated and didn't give out any information. "My name's Sakura. My favorite color's blue! My dream is to have my love returned by that special someone," she said, a blush spreading across her face as she imagined looking into Ino's gaze as the blonde confessed to the pinkette.

Sweatdrops spread around the group. "I'm Saotome Naruto. I was originally born here, but my dad and grandpa adopted me. My dream is to become the greatest ninja. I don't really have any dislikes."

Sasuke thought about brooding over his brother, but for some reason the thought was anathema to him now. "Originally I wanted to kill that man, but now, I found someone that I admire. I want to live my life making sure he gets everything he wants and desires."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, catching the slight movement of Sasuke's eye towards Naruto. The Saotome never paid any attention to it. The art of subtlety was never in the Saotome training manuals, thus _none_ of the Saotomes would have picked up on it.

Nodding, Kakashi addressed the three. "Well, meet me tomorrow at training ground nine. Be there first thing in the morning and don't eat breakfast, you'll just throw it up!" Kakashi declared.

With a quick "hai" from the three, the Jounin shunshined away, leaving the kids behind.

(Later that day)

A familiar crow was flying overheard, just as the sun was starting to set. "Aho! Aho! Aho-ka?"

"WHAT?!" thundered Ranma's voice.

Sitting before the young martial artist was one Hyuuga Hiashi, holding a scribbled out contract, signed by his father ten years ago.

"Well, you see, your father promised that his heir would marry whichever Hyuuga I deemed fit. Well, I've chosen my eldest daughter, Hinata as your wife."

To the side of Hiashi sat Hinata, shuffling nervously. She was all of thirteen years in age. And now she was betrothed to a man more than twice her age by her father no less. She had known for some time that her father was trying to do away with her, but this... This was going too far! She considered voicing her protest, but all she got out was a meek "..."

Ranma had not seen hide nor tail of his idiot panda of a father all day. "I guess there's no choice. She can stay here for the time being. Once I see my father tho, I'll get this mess all sorted out," Ranma promised.

Hinata could only blush and nod, more than a bit nervous. After all, the man before her – her new fiance – was essentially saying she wasn't good enough to marry him. It was a sobering thought, but at the same it was what she wanted... Right?

(With Genma)

Currently sitting on a large rock was an adorable panda, munching on a bamboo shoot. This particular sight had drawn the attention of more than one ninja. Thanks to word of mouth, half the neighborhood was standing around, in various states of amusement. There were more than a few couples with arms interlocked, the female with her head on the shoulder of her male. There were children transfixed, eyes locked as they stared at the sight. Many singles were about, milling and chatting as they met up with friends, colleagues and the like.

For you see, today Genma the panda was going to draw in as much money with his "act" as possible. Ordinarily the great oaf would just take what he wanted, but considering this was a village full of ninja that would hunt him down at a moment's notice gave him pause.

Okay. That's not what _really_ stopped Genma from stealing here. It was actually a certain man, currently overlooking the event from a windowsill. A man by the name of Danzo Shimura. This man placed a temporary seal on Genma the last time he and Ranma had been here. The foolish man had tried stealing several scrolls of chakra manipulation to add to his already impressive list of skills. Only he'd invaded ROOT and been caught.

But that's a story for later. Right now a panda bear was doing the most adorable front flip! Oh no! It fell to the side, drawing the audiences laughter. Several bits of money were tossed into the "Panda Freedom Foundation" bucket.

(With Naruto)

Naruto was practicing his handseals. For the blonde, performing such intricate seals just to use a technique was a waste of energy, so each time Naruto would go through a series of seals, he'd repeat them a hundred times and try to use the technique without his hands.

BOOM!

But, sadly, it usually would explode in the blonde's face. Just like now.

Naruto, whose eyes were spiraling as he twitched on the ground, was not ready for the bombardment. Call it karma. Call it fate. Or just say it was happenstance, but as the blonde boy was laying on the ground, insensate, a certain pink-haired teammate of his dumped a bucket of cold water on him.

"Naruto! Wake-" her voice vanished alongside her thoughts. For you see right before the pinkette was a sopping wet Ino; her clothes were clinging tightly to her taut lithe body. The very sight was enough to bring a bright pink blush to the Haruno's cheeks. As Sakura's gaze continued along the curves, trailing down her body as she watched the attractive blonde of her desire breathe in and out – chest rising and falling – Sakura suffered a severe nosebleed.

Naruto was just coming to, with a harsh sneeze that racked her body. "What the hell? Why am I all wet?" the blonde shouted loudly, gaining the attention of a few ninja that happened to be walking past the training ground.

Hearing such a declaration was more than enough to cause one Shikamaru Nara to blush – even if it was well hidden. Kiba, who happened to be traveling with the Nara in search of the object of his own desire, spotted his girlfriend (in his mind) lying on the ground with a bloody nose as Ino stood above her, obviously gloating.

"Teme! I'll kill you!" challenged Kiba as he leaped into action. The feral boy had his hands outstretched forward like claws. "Die Ino!"

Naruto was more than a little miffed at being confused for a girl he barely knew, 'yet again,' he thought glumly. "Kiba, dammit! I'm not Ino!" she shouted, grabbing both the larger boy's wrists and rolling backwards. Even as she went to fall on her back, Naruto's foot was placed in the gut of Kiba's and she pistoned her legs outward, summarily launching the wolf-boy into a tree behind her.

Kiba, not expecting, nor being trained to fight an opponent that turned his own momentum against him, was caught unawares and wound up smashing his head into the tree. Hard. To say the boy saw stars and tweeting birds would be obvious.

So saying, as Kiba slid down the tree, barely conscious, Naruto taking full advantage of his female body, sauntered up to the boy, hips swaying dramatically. "You just got beat by a girl!" she chirruped.

Shikamaru hurried up to _Ino_ with a proud smile. "Ino-chan," he began, steeling his nerves. Just as Naruto rounded on the boy to declare whom he was, his (or her) second kiss was stolen. Shikamaru was passionate about the kiss, even including his tongue, trying to convey all of his love for the blonde in the one action.

Ino, whom happened to be walking by at the time, had heard Kiba's shouts and watched as her own body dealt with the boy. Even more surprising was the spectacular kiss she watched Shikamaru plant on her very own lips. Idly Ino wondered why she looked to so wet. With a light blush and shiver, Ino closed her eyes tightly, hoping that when she opened them again, she would be back in her body.

As fate would have it, Naruto used a body substitution just as he brained the Nara boy. It just so happened to be that the only item his senses locked onto happened to be the object of Shikamaru's desire. So, as Ino opened her eyes, feeling a rush of wind around her, she was a bit relieved to find herself once again in her own body.

Ino looked around herself and noted that everyone seemed to be in a state of unconsciousness. "Um," she intoned and quickly scurried off before someone thought she had violent tendencies. 'What is wrong with me? Why is my body acting on its own?" she demanded of herself. She was not expecting a reply, but what she got instead she was not ready for.

(The Outskirts of Konoha)

There stood five people, dressed as wandering priests, each covered head to toe in the traditional robes complete with rice-picker hats. The five paused to chant an incantation, their prayer beads interlaced in their fingers.

As the chanting reached a crescendo the five paused on exactly the same syllable. As they peered into the open air between them, a paper formed with the image of Anko Mitarashi on it. "The reincarnation of our Evil Snake Queen is here in this village," spoke one. All nodded.

Forming a line, the procession began the long trek down the winding mountain pass.

(With Ranma)

Ranma was grumbling to himself as he took in his newest and by far the youngest fiance. She was slightly older than Rin-Rin and Lung-Lung when they declared him as their husband to be. "Thank the Kami and all my lucky stars that the old ghoul was able to get me out of those marriages," he whispered to himself.

However, this did not go unnoticed as Hinata, who was now alone with Ranma, still sitting dutifully, had overheard his odd comment. "N-nani? You know a ghoul?" she asked. Stories of Ranma's adventures had become legendary. It seemed that almost all the ninja of jounin rank during Ranma's last stay had desired a mission with the boy. And each that was given the chance had come home with an amazing tale of an awry mission to save some princess or another.

While Hinata wasn't sure she could believe all of the stories, the ones that included ghosts intrigued and frightened her.

Ranma smirked, giving his confident smile to the girl, earning a catastrophic blush from the girl. "No. I had a fiance when I was younger. She had a great great grandmother that was like _three hundred_ years old! She was all short and pruny!" Ranma replied, mirthfully. His soft chuckle made the girl go all gooey in the knees, and Hinata was suddenly very happy to be sitting at the moment.

"A-ano..." she began, still unsure if it was proper for a wife to address her husband, even if she was not married yet.

Ranma looked askance at the girl. "What's wrong? Why are you so stiff? You need to loosen up a bit!" he declared, hopping to his feet. He gave a languid stretch. "I tell you what, how about we have a spar?" he offered.

Hinata flushed, embarrassed that she was a terrible ninja, and a worse fighter. But, seeing as her fiance desired something of her, the girl slowly, unsteadily rose to her feet and followed Ranma out to the backyard.

Ranma took a ready stance, and assessed the young Hyuuga. "Alright, I assume you practice the Jyuuken style like the rest of your family does?" Ranma offered. Hinata nodded. With a smile Ranma bid her to attack.

(Within the Hokage's Office)

"OOOHOHOHOHO!" came the insane cackle as a swirling whirlwind of black rose pedals ambushed the interior of the office.

Hiruzen looked up from his paperwork and grimaced as he watched the papers he'd just signed flutter away, mixing with the mysterious flower petals. The evil cackle sent a vicious shiver up his spine. "Who's there?" he called, setting his pen down.

"We are known as Kurobana Kodachi. But you may call me The Black Rose, Kuno Kodachi," came the reply. Hiruzen sweatdropped as her alias was the same as her title. It didn't help that when the roses finally settled a young woman stood before him wearing a full royal Japanese Kimono, complete with an undercoat, a silk coat and an overcoat. The girl wore silk socks, styled after the historical fashion. Her dark black hair tied back in a bun, contrasting amicably with her porcelain skin.

"Um, I'm known as the Hokage, and I'm the leader of this village of ninja," he addressed, taking a few light puffs from his pipe. "Sarutobi Hiruzen. You may call me Sandaime."

Kodachi nodded acceptance, and seated herself on the floor, gesturing with her hand that Hiruzen sit across from her. "While it is highly inappropriate that I should be here in this meeting with you without the knowledge or presence of my dearest husband," Kodachi began, her tone formal and stoic, betraying no emotion. At Hiruzen's nod, she continued. "However, it is of utmost importance that you dally not in this brief reprieve from duties. I request that you declare my darling Ranma-sama as unobtainable to these harlots. I wish to not have to use force to keep the females in heat at bay, but if I must..." Kodachi let the threat hang in the air.

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes. There was something that Ranma had told him once about the woman before him. But other than her stone cold business persona, the aging Sarutobi could not put his finger on it.

"Sasuke!" called out Kodachi.

Hiruzen jumped, his anger quickly rising. "Why on earth do you want Sasuke?" he demanded. But even as the question left his tongue, something totally unexpected happened.

Kodachi cast an amused look at the Hokage as her trusted pet ninja popped out of the tatami mats in the floor, and brandished a steaming tea set. "Hai, Kodachi-sama! I've prepared a gentle green tea for you madame!" he announced, his voice a bit louder than necessary.

Hiruzen studied the odd ninja. The man, though fully grown was barely four feet in height, and his face was large, round and oddly very mousey. The buck teeth that stood to the forefront of the ninja's mouth, even protruding from his lips while his mouth was closed added to the affect of a very mousey man.

Having done his duty, the ninja retreated within the floor, closing the tatami mat behind him. Idly Hiruzen wondered when he had ever installed tatami mats in his office. For the life of him, he couldn't recall it.

As Hiruzen accepted the hot tea from the Kuno before him, realization struck. 'She puts poison in everything as a second nature!' he thought with alarm, even as the cup of tea was half to his mouth. There was a steely gleam flashing across the visage of Kodachi as she watched the elder ninja move to drink his _spiked_ tea. A very small smile spread across her lips, thinking of the test she was conducting. After all, her new poison hadn't been tested yet on anyone. It would be wonderful to see the results first hand.

Thinking quickly, Hiruzen fumbled the cup in his hands, letting it fall harmlessly to the floor.

Okay...

SIZZLE...

'Maybe not so harmlessly,' he thought as he watched the tea literally eat through the floor of the office. A small sweatdrop formed. "K-Kodachi-sama, you weren't trying to poison me were you?" he asked, a bit awed at the danger the woman posed, even though she never gave off a moment of kill intent.

Kodachi laughed, heartily. "OOOOHOHOHOHO!" she covered her mouth demurely, ever the lady. "My my, Hokage-sama. That was not my intention at all! Obviously the tea was simply too hot. I shall reprimand Sasuke with four hundred lashes tonight for not checking the temperature in which he serves." she retorted, never once giving any ill-intent.

Hiruzen shuddered, and offered up a prayer for Ranma's soul.

(Elsewhere)

Mitarashi Anko was enjoying her odango. While it wasn't nearly as delicious as the other night when she and Ranma were on a date, nor was it as gut-wrenchingly funny, but it was still a yummy stick!

It came as a surprise when Anko looked down to see a hand grabbing her last stick of odango. "Oi oi Oi!" she called out threateningly, catching the offending appendage by the wrist and pulled the captured thief up out from the table.

It was a bit of a surprise to see Ranma's son in her hands. "Naruto..." Anko growled, her eyes narrowing dangerously as she forked a a snakelike tongue out. "You stole my odango! Tell me one good reason I shouldn't eat you instead?" she demanded. Of course she wouldn't _really_ eat the boy! But it was always fun to scare people.

Naruto, reflecting his father's personality, swiped the woman's hand free of his wrist. "Like I'd let some old, creepy woman eat me!" he challenged, leaping away, looking over his shoulder as he came to a landing.

"Old?!" Anko thundered, looking at the boy's back. "Creepy?" she roared, and started to give chase. Just as Naruto turned to look forward his lips met, pressing softly with a very pretty young blonde girl.

This particular blonde was experiencing her first ever real kiss! 'And I'm not leaving my body!' she mentally cheered. Seeing as she was finally getting the opportunity to get her own kiss without being ejected from her body, Ino took full advantage and deepened the kiss, eliciting a small muffled cry for help from Naruto.

It just so happened at that moment Shikamaru arrive to find the object of his desire in a liplock with the new blonde boy in town. 'Why do I feel this sudden urge?' Shikamaru wondered and even as he felt his jealousy come to a new high, he shouted the words burning at the tip of his tongue. "Die Saotome Naruto! Ino is mine to marry!" he shouted, taking flight and raining down tendrils of shadow arms.

The blonde couple separated - much to Ino's displeasure - at the challenge. "Sh-Shikamaru? What the hell are you talking about?!" Ino demanded, a blush rising to her face.

Naruto had other thoughts on his mind as he performed a series of back handsprings. "What the hell do you want, Pineapple head?" Naruto challenged as he continued to evade the onslaught of attacks.

Shikamaru belted a guttural roar and his shadow arms raced at Naruto, dislodging the very bricks that made up the street. "For your assault on Ino's pure innocence, I shall smite you!" challenged the normally placid boy.

Naruto gave a smirk that would make his father proud and give his grandfather indigestion. "If you really think you got what it takes, then bring it on!" Naruto challenged, awaiting the assault. With a flurry of hand movements, Naruto flung a dozen kunai at Shikamaru, breaking the boy's stance and control of the shadow technique.

Shikamaru rolled to the right avoiding the slow moving attack and focused his chakra into his handseals. "Try this on for size, home-wrecker!" Shikamaru shouted, and threw a demon shuriken that multiplied into five. Just as the demon shuriken seemed to impale the blonde boy, forcing a gasp out of Ino's mouth and an early celebration from Shikamaru, Naruto puffed into smoke.

"Kage bunshin?" reasoned Anko aloud. She and several ANBU were watching the fight, assessing Ranma's training abilities. However Ino and Shikamaru heard her voice and began searching for the elusive ninja.

A little old lady shuffled her way across the street, ambling about as she spoke to herself. "Oh dear me, I'm getting much too old to be walking around all by my self. I sure do wish that some nice young man would carry me home on his back," she intoned, just loud enough for Shikamaru to hear.

Shikamaru cursed under his breath, realizing that Naruto was now gone. He knew what his duty should be. He should help the old lady. "Why me? This is so troublesome.," he moaned as he grabbed the old woman's groceries. "Here, let me help you with that, ma'am."

Just as Shikamaru's hands were full, and thus unable to perform handsigns, the old woman ripped off her face getting a rather disgusted sound from several onlookers, until all realized it was Naruto. "Haha! I fooled ya!" he shouted triumphantly.

Shikamaru was not expecting a physical costume rather than a genjutsu and never stood a chance at seeing through the disguise. Now, as he tried to throw away the bags, he realized his hands were glued to them, and in the shape of carrying fists, making them useless even for punching.

The grin on Naruto's face would send chills down the spines of several ninja that day, and would give even more nightmares. "Oh you're so going to get it!" he declared and went to town thrashing the Nara.

(With Ranma)

Ranma was very pleased with himself! Before him stood a young kunoichi that had first come to him with the problems associated with self-confidence issues. But now she was mastering her family art, and it only took him two hours to poke and prod at her weaknesses and openings. The girl had taken awhile to realize he would never actually strike her, opting to poke her when she left her defense open.

"Very good, Hinata-chan!" Ranma praised, as the girl was lasting five minutes without getting touched.

"Hn!" Hinata nodded and continued her game of touch and go. She would aggressively attack Ranma, and then she would receive an assault in return. It was like Ranma was expecting her to become some kind of berserker. 'Doesn't he realize my style is all about defense?' she wondered in her own mind.

Ranma couldn't help but reflect on the years he'd spent with Akane, trying to get the girl up to speed with everyone else. If only he'd realized that goading someone only worked with his father. 'Damned panda! He coulda told me that I was only pissing Akane off by taunting her!' he mentally yelled as he blurred forward, forcing Hinata to activate her Byakugan.

Hinata was feeling very unsure about herself all of a sudden as Ranma was no longer letting off his assault and allowing her an opening. It seemed she had graduated from kiddie gloves. With a smile, almost verging on a smirk, Hinata met each of Ranma's strikes with perfect defense. 'I can do this! I have to make my husband proud of me!' Hinata thought with gusto.

(Elsewhere)

The five priests had just arrived at the gates. However, no one noticed them. The wandering priests waited patiently at the check in counter, listening idly as Izumo and Kotetsu drawled on about how boring life was.

Finally, being the youngest and most impulsive, a priest cleared its throat, gaining the attention of the two men guarding the gates. However, neither man spotted anyone.

That is until Kotetsu stood up and looked down over the edge of the counter. There, below the height of the desk, stood five robed individuals. "Hey what are you kids doing here?" Demanded Izumo. The Chuunin swiftly walked around the table, ignoring the protests of being kids and thwacked each about the head. "Go home and don't come back this way! If you wandered out the village your parents would be so pissed at-... Uh I mean, they'd be so worried about you!" he quickly corrected.

.Kotetsu could only shake his head sadly..

(With Kakashi)

There once was a mildly perverted, silver-haired Jounin named Kakashi. Kakashi loved his books called Icha Icha. Sadly, a certain young man a couple years his junior, sporting a long black ponytail, saw fit to burn all of those books.

Now Kakashi was depressed. He was supposed to get up early in morning tomorrow for training, but as he closed his eyes, Kakashi was bombarded with nightmares of his precious books calling out his name in anguish as they burned.

Waking with a start for the fourth time, Kakashi sighed. His eyes were rimmed with black from sleep deprivation, and hair hung limply, too tired to even stay up. "Mo! I'm never going to get any sleep now..." Even as Kakashi moaned a shadow flitted across his window, quickly dashing away.

(With Ino)

Ino was just climbing into bed, her smelling sweetly of the flower fragrances she'd just created. "Mmm! I can't wait to show _him_!" she gushed, her thoughts wrapped up in a certain male that she adored. Taking a brief pause, Ino took stock of the things around her, making certain that she had everything she would need for training the next day.

As she browsed through her items, she paused on a photo, gazing forlornly upon it. For in the image was the only person that she had been able to kiss without getting ejected from her body. "Naruto-kun... I like you," she whispered softly, testing out the words on her lips. It seemed to fit rather well. Giving a small smile the blonde girl jumped into bed, cradling the photo to her chest and slept with wonderful dreams of her darling Naruto.

**End Chapter**

**Wow! Enormous response! I never thought so many people would like this story... I cut this off a bit early. I ran out of ideas to stretch it to 5000 words. But, lots of fun was had, and we got to see a new side to Shikamaru and some of Naruto's new fighting habits. Sorry if Naruto is OC. He's got to be in order to fit in with my story. Remember the canon he's raised by no one and widely ignored and neglected. This one is raised by a knucklehead and a glutton. **

**Next Chapter is going to bring in one more Ranma character and its only going to increase the chaos! Oh and in the future a doozy will be revealed regarding Ranma and Kodachi.**

**I'll try to keep updating with at least one chapter per week.**

**SSTR87**


	4. Chapter 4

**A Man Amongst Men**

Ino's Dream

(At The Saotome Residence)

Ranma laid his head down on his pillow, enjoying the feel of sleeping in a bed again. Though his father – whom was still not around – would say Ranma was growing weak by not sleeping on a floor mat. With a contended grin, Ranma let his eyes close, even as he heard Naruto slipping in through the window.

Naruto for his part was exhausted. It had been a very eventful day and he could think of nothing better than enjoying a nice hot soak in the furo. He passed a gaze over to his sleeping father, and continued onward to the bathing room already tossing his clothing to the floor with each step he took.

Had Ranma been even a little bit more aware of the events taking place even now, he might have grabbed a camera and snapped a few photos; but as it was, Naruto was clad in nothing and was reaching for a towel as he entered the antechamber. Just as the towel was grasped in the hand of Naruto, the sliding door to the furo was opened, revealing an equally naked, and now madly blushing Hinata.

From a distance, overlooking the village a scream could be heard. "EEEEK! PERVERT!"

Naruto was beside himself as he scrambled to get away from the onslaught of bathing articles; toothbrushes, soap bars and wash pails sailed across the air nailing the scrambling blonde in female righteous fury. In a mad dash Naruto rounded the corner, barely missing a collision with his smirking father. "Dad, there's a naked girl attacking me! You gotta help!" he begged as he took refuge behind Ranma.

Ranma's smirk only widened becoming a comically wide grin. "Hinata-chan, calm down, please!" Ranma called out, to the girl hiding on the other side of the corner. A loud squawk was all the young teen could get out as she came face to chest with Ranma. The poor, offended Hyuuga had been so deadset on getting retribution that she had failed to clothe herself.

As such Ranma was treated to quite the sight causing him a large blush on his face. Ranma, who managed to pull out a towel from nowhere, tried to wrap the girl only to mistakenly grope the preadolescent. It was at this time that a very concerned Anko ripped a new doorway into the wall of Ranma's house, exposing the pervert.

"R-Rannnmmmaaaa," Anko snarled, gritting her teeth. Ranma started sweating buckets as he took in the raging aura springing to life around the kunoichi.

"I just wanted to say... It ain't my fault.." Ranma tried dumbly, idling noting that Anko was displaying her first ever battle aura.

Hinata, still being molested by Ranma, managed a weak whimper causing Anko's fury to grow. Without fanfare Anko brandished an oversized mallet and drew back. "Ranma you PERVERT!" she declared as she let loose the weapon branded "Pervert Basher 3000."

(Slightly Later)

Naruto was up on the roof nailing a series of boards in a crisscross fashion to cover the newest of the two Ranma-shaped holes. "I don't get why _I_ have to patch the holes... It was Anko-san that made 'em!" he grumbled to himself, obviously disgruntled at being up so late.

Down below Anko was watching Naruto patch the holes as Hinata glared at the boy. "I still can't believe that Naruto would be the one to flash you like that, Hinata," Anko remarked having heard the one-sided story.

"I didn't _flash_ her," Naruto tried, his words falling on deaf ears. For his efforts, Naruto was tossed another plank of wood.

"You just patch that roof! Last thing we need is for rain to get in!" Anko shouted, earning several hisses from the blonde boy. "I guess I owe Ranma-kun an apology when he gets back."

(First Thing In The Morning)

Ranma glanced down at the sleeping form of his blonde-haired adopted son. Naruto was sprawled out in a bed, legs and arms splayed to display an opening, the likes of which Ranma was guffawed. "Honestly Naruto," Ranma intoned. He walked up to the unconscious boy.

"Rise and Shine!"

The sound of a body landing in a pool of water echoed in the early morning air, accompanied by a string of swearing as a now wet Naruto spluttered out of the pond. "What the hell was that for?" Naruto demanded, as she wiped her eyes free of the water.

Ranma only smirked, still in his male form, his eyes crinkling at the edges and his long white beard blowing in the wind.

'Wait a minute,' Naruto puzzled. "Pointing an accusatory finger at Ranma, Naruto-chan asked the question plaguing her mind. "Since when did you have a long white beard?!"

But rather than a verbal answer, Ranma opted to leap forward, attacking the young shinobi turned kunoichi. "If you can beat me, I'll tell you, _Naru-chan_," Ranma replied as he opened with a barrage of punches at the blonde boy.

Naruto retaliated, swinging her own fists in turn to stay off the incoming punches. This tactic worked in the beginning, but every time Naruto would block a punch another would come at her even faster. "This is so not fair! How am I supposed to keep up with you?"

Smirking as only Ranma can, the elder Saotome brought about a leg sweep which Naruto easily leaped over. "The whole point of us sparring is to get you to the point that you can surpass me, Naru-chan. Now stop acting all dainty like a weak little girl, and fight me with all you got!"

These words seemed to have the right amount of motivation, causing the young blonde to roar with rage and attack Ranma anew. This time, rather than soft strikes reserved for sparring, the blonde was going all-out, delivering punches as fluid as Ranma-himself. Naruto reached a plateau in his aggravated attack in which his mind suddenly became clear and time seemed to slow down. As Naruto beheld herself and the battle taking place, she realized something. Something quite important...

(Elsewhere)

Genma Saotome was a many of many talents. Most of these talents were completely useless. Like the ability to grovel. Which currently Genma was engaging one of his many "fearsome" techniques. Standing in a circle around Genma were a dozen ANBU and five jounin.

"Hm, I see," Genma began, his tone serious as he addressed the men around him. "So it's all come down to this, has it?"

A tall man with spiked up black hair took a step forward, his face serious, and a diagonal scar running across his visage. "You've pressed my hand, Genma. Now it's time that you owned up to your past sins." The man's voice was rough and rugged, it belayed years of hardship and had a razor's edge to it as though killing were his second nature.

Genma gulped, sweating slightly. "If you really want this, then I guess I have no choice..." Genma threatened, charging up his energy. A visible battle aura sprung up as Genma crouched into an aggressive stance.

All the surrounding ninja took defensive postures, ready to react to whatever the older Saotome had planned. It was at this same moment that Genma bellowed out his call. "Crouch of The Wild Tiger!" So saying, Genma hit his knees and rapidly brought his forehead to the ground. "Please don't hurt me! I swear I won't get the Hokage drunk again!" he pleaded.

At the sounds of Genma's pleas and the drastic change in nature, all of the ninja facefaulted, crashing hard into the ground.

(Saotome Residence)

Hinata awoke with a start. The sounds of struggling were prevalent outside, causing more than a little panic in the young girl's mind. To her side Anko was still asleep, blissfully ignoring the sounds of fighting taking place just outside. Hinata thought for a moment to rouse the kunoichi, as Hinata herself was an Academy failure and drop-out.

Giving Anko a few meek shoves to wake the ninja, she received a snore as a response. "..." Hinata stood upright and made her way to the window, wondering if the village was being attacked. What she beheld was a fistfight between her beloved Ranma and his perverted son, Naruto. 'No, he's not really a pervert,' she reminded herself, trying to keep her head level.

It was actually quite an amazing fight as she watched Ranma and Naruto leap from branches, poles, awnings and anything else in the yard except touching the ground. As the two would cross in the air Hinata could only see a blur as they traded punches and kicks.

"I-Impossible... I've never seen anyone move that fast before!" Hinata squeaked, her voice not even loud enough to be a whisper. She indulged herself a few more minutes to watch Naruto and Ranma "fly" through the air and trade blows before she turned to head for the kitchen.

As the young Hyuuga arrived in the place for cooking she looked around at a room full of dirty dishes growing mold and collecting dust. If there was a single pot or pan in the room Hinata had yet to find it. Silently cursing her luck, Hinata activated her Byakugan. While it was useless for her family jutsu and fighting it was quite handy for helping the so-called useless Hyuuga to find household objects. If her father caught her using her bloodline like this, she'd have been beaten.

Locating the pots she needed, alongside a few dishes, Hinata set about preparing for breakfast.

(With Genma)

Genma found himself now held in a chamber, chained to a wall, awaiting a visit from a certain jounin. He wasn't certain if was to be tortured or not, but things were certainly not looking good for him.

(Saotome Home)

Ranma felt a cold shiver go up his spine. Even as he felt it, he was taking a boot to his head, courtesy of Naruto. As Ranma sailed through the air and into the koi pond, his trajectory absolutely perfect – whether it was his curse that did it, or Naruto's aim improving we will never know – he had time to reflect on the feeling. 'The last time I felt that kind of a shiver was back in Nerima before I left,' he thought with remorse.

Raising out of the water was not the late-twenties Ranma, with rugged good looks. No, it was now a buxom young redhead, wearing Ranma's clothing which was now oversized. Several ANBU hidden in the trees to watch the activity were treated to a very welcome sight. The image of a redhead peeling off her wet top and exposing her bust to the world was enough to cause a massive group of nosebleeds.

Ranma, never one for female modesty, ignored the sounds of collapsing flesh about the complex, and continued on, removing her pants and sitting on the ground with nothing but boxers. "Kuso! Naruto, I'm gonna get you back for this!" Ranma challenged, her lidded glare as cold as ice.

Naruto shivered, still in her female form. 'I swear that dad actually controls the temperature!' she mused as she jumped out of the way of the glare, ducking into the house and running for the furo.

Ranma, no longer able to glare at the object of her ire, turned to face her clothing and picked the wet pile up, ignoring the bitter coldness of it all. "Well, I guess there's no point in sitting around out here," she grumbled. "Oi, Hinata-chan!" Ranma called out, her voice oozing with saccharine. "I can smell something nice, watcha cookin?"

As Ranma, topless and clad in only boxer shorts, arrives in the kitchen, she is greeted by the sight of not one, but two bug-eyed females. Anko recovered first, her surprised eyes changing to that of a leer. "Ranma?" she questioned, still trying to wrap her mind around the concept of her fiance turning into a woman.

At the sound of Anko's voice, Hinata's mind restarted and the ninja drop out blushed crimson. "Ranma-sama... H-how d-did you d-do that?" she asked.

Ranma sighed, her massive – yet perky – breasts heaving with the motion. "Well it's a long story. Wait til, Naruto gets back and I'll explain it all." Seeing the women nod, Ranma walked to the kitchen to heat some water.

(An Hour Later)

"And that's how it happened," completed Ranma, as Naruto nodded.

"But," began Anko, trying to make head and tails of the story. "And then..?"

Hinata shook her head, holding the hand of the kunoichi. "I-I t-think it's best that we not a-ask these q-questions, Anko-sama." she girl squeaked out, her face turned red once again. Being so forward with such an accomplished ninja was well outside of Hinata's comfort zone.

Anko could only nod. "That was _some_ story!" she delivered, her voice full of mirth as she was barely restraining a giggle.

Hinata rose to her feet, seeing everyone was finished eating. It had been quite interesting to watch Ranma and Naruto fight with chopsticks as they battled over the food. The Hyuuga could have even sworn to see sparks fly from the _wooden_ eating utensils. Shaking her head, Hinata smiled. It was the first real smile the girl had experienced in many years.

Ranma observed the girl's smile, and as she had just turned away from Naruto when it happened, Ranma decided it meant that she liked his son. "Naruto, go to the kitchen and help Hinata," Ranma commanded, his voice boisterous and overbearing.

Had one been around during Ranma's childhood that same voice could have been attributed to Genma.

(Far Far Away)

Genma randomly sneezed. "ACHOO!"

Silence greeted the man's ears just as darkness was before his eyes. "Someone must be talking about me," he pondered.

(Saotome House)

Anko had a certain gleam on her eye. A gleam that Ranma should have recognized. However, the martial artist was currently in banter with his son.

"Screw you, dad! You go help Hinata! I hate doing dishes!" Naruto shouted loudly, stomping his foot on the table as he stood at his full height.

Ranma, no longer female but still half naked, mimicked the pose. "You'll do as I say, boy!" Ranma thundered back.

Naruto swung a fist to punch Ranma, but missed as the older Saotome fell to the floor ripping open a shirt that was not previously there. "Woe is me! I spend 13 years raising an ungrateful brat! All I ask is that he take care of the dishes, and instead he beats on his old man!" Ranma crowed, his voice being magnified to be heard clear across Konoha.

Naruto and Anko sweatdropped at this. "Seriously, dad... I guess I can do the damn dishes."

Anko smirked, "Shameful, Ranma. Just shameful."

As soon as Naruto was out of the room, Ranma was back up to his feet giving off a "V" for victory sign. "Yeah! I knew he'd do it," Ranma congratulated himself.

Anko smirked and started a slow crawl towards Ranma, eventually pushing the Saotome down on his back. "Ranma-kun," Anko purred, for once not looking akin to a snake. No the woman was starting to look like something far more terrifying than a slithering snake. She was looking like a c-c-c... a demon creature.

Ranma shuddered, as the kunoichi crept her way up his crotch. "A-A-Anko-ch-ch-chan... W-what are y-y-you d-d-d-oing?" Ranma asked more than a bit nervously.

Anko grinned, possessively clutching Ranma's boxers. "Mmm, we need to get these offa you, Ranma-kun."

Ranma was sweating bullets, looking frantically to the left and to the right. This was _not _a position he particularly desired to be in."A-Anko-ch-ch-chan, stop that, p-please."

(In The Kitchen)

Naruto was grumbling as he washed dishes, ignoring the accusatory glare from Hinata. "I swear I didn't know you were in there last night," Naruto defended as he finished up his last dish.

Hinata refused to speak to the Saotome heir and turned back to putting away the food.

Naruto sighed and shrugged. "Well, I'm off to the training grounds!" he declared and charged off.

Kodachi vs Anko

(Training Ground)

Sakura and Sasuke stared at one another, glares marking the others' features. "I told you, Naruto-kun is mine! You can back off and go back to chasing Ino," Sasuke declared, fire burning in his eyes as he challenged the pink-haired kunoichi.

Sakura, murder burning in her eyes, withdrew a kunai. "If anyone is going to feed my beloved Naruto-sama, it's going to be me!"

"But you love Ino!" Sasuke retorted, angrily.

"No! That was a mistake! I could never love a woman,, besides I probably just confused Naruto-sama's cursed form for Ino! They look the exact same, and Naruto's a man!" she declared, swiping the kunai at the Uchiha. Sasuke flipped back and away, his eyes glaring like a wildfire.

Naruto, the currently tied up ninja, was staring wide-eyed in his female form as Sakura and Sasuke were apparently fighting over him."Oi! Oi! Both of you two idiots... Cut. It. OUT!" she thundered, channeling her chakra into the outburst.

Both teammates paused and looked to Naruto, both watching the blonde-haired girl suspiciously. Naruto nervously glanced between the two, unsure of the resolve she noted in the ninjas' eyes. "Um.. What are you guys lookin at me like that for?" she asked nervously, visibly sweating now.

As one the two asked in tandem, "Which of us do you like, Naruto?"

Naruto glancing between the two did what he figured his dad would do. "Oh look, what is that?!" he screamed in panic, looking in the distance behind the two. As both ninja turned to see what Naruto was looking at, they spotted nothing as far as the eye could see.

By the time the two turned back to face Naruto, the blonde-haired girl was gone, replaced by a crudely designed straw doll that vaguely resembled the formerly tied up genin. The eyes eyes tot he doll were literally the kanji for eyes, and the mouth read mouth and the nose was a flesh-colored button.

"Wha-what? Where did he go?" asked Sakura, glancing about the empty clearing.

Sasuke closed his eyes smirking. 'Just as I thought,' the young ninja reasoned, "Naruto-kun has given us the slip..."

As Sakura sweatdropped at the obvious a wind blew by.

(With Naruto)

Naruto panted haggardly as she beheld the pot of boiling water before her. She had a decidedly panicked look about her face as she tried whispering at the pot to hurry. "C'mon! C'mon! Hurry up and boil, damnit!" she commanded harshly.

At the first sign of steam rising, the blonde grabbed the pot and dumped it on her head. The effects were immediate, the cute budding blonde become a handsome young male. "Yosh!" he declared.

Perhaps his declaration was a bit too loud, as at that moment both Sakura and Sasuke appeared, a quick shunshin allowing them into the clearing. "I know I heard his voice over here a moment ago," Sakura declared as she and Sasuke glanced side to side.

"Hn," Sasuke intoned, nodding with confirmation. Silently the Uchiha gave a series of handsigns directing Sakura to fan right and regroup in the next clearing. As the two ninja were obscured from Naruto's sight, the blonde – whom was hiding behind a tree at the moment – moved forward at a sprint.

(Training Ground Clearing)

Kakashi was just arriving, expecting to see a group of very irritated genin for him having them wait several hours. Instead, the cyclops was treated to the sight of an empty pasture, ropes tied around a dummy that was vaguely similar to Naruto.

"Um," he wondered, pondering the scene before him. "I wonder what could have possibly happened here?"

(With Genma)

Genma was seated in a chair facing a short table with another chair on the opposite side. The room in which the portly old man was seated was completely black with only a single column of light focused on the table and chairs.

'Oh, no... Don't tell me.. it's-' What ever else Genma might have been thinking was confirmed as all the lights for the room turned on. Standing in a doorway immediately before Genma was Nara Shikaku. That doorway, Genma noted, obviously led outside as he could see passersby in the streets behind the genius Nara. "Lemme guess," Genma began, his voice a deadpan and his eyes the matching set. "You want a rematch. Again?"

Shikaku only nodded, refusing to voice himself. The Nara withdrew a shogi board from the crook of his arm and sat it in the middle of the table. Silently, Shikaku set about placing the pieces in their rightful locations.

(Training Grounds)

Naruto was visibly shaking. For you see his back was to the wall, quite literally. As he stood there he was being approached by both Sasuke and Sakura who had flanked the poor blonde. There was nowhere to go but up or down. Sadly for Naruto, who was only a genin, he could not tree-walk yet, nor was he an earth style ninja; so the two options were out.

It was at this moment, as Sasuke and Sakura pinned Naruto with stare of wanton lust, arms to either side to prevent the blonde's escape, that Kakashi arrived. "Um, what's up kids?" he offered lamely, trying to figure out what was happening.

"K-Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto cried, pointing to his savior as he tore free from his team mates. "It's a good thing you came when you did, they almost had me!" he cried, a look of abject horror in his eyes.

Kakashi gave a one-eyed smile, as his other eye and lower face were covered. "Well, I see that. Mind explaining what this is all about, and why it is that _none_ of you are in the arranged meeting place?"

Sasuke and Sakura shared a glance and turned to Kakashi, allowing Sasuke to take the lead. "Well, you see sensei we decided since we're a new team-" Sasuke began.

Sakura picked up where he left off, "Yeah! So we decided to try a team-building exercise. Right, Naruto-kun?" she asked, her voice more then a little forced as she referred to her other team mate.

Naruto shivered at the sickeningly sweet voice, and could only nod for fear of retaliation. "Um, yeah."

Kakashi looked between the three not seeming to believe a single word from any of the ninja. "I see.. Well, I believe you. Anyway, since you want to prove your worth as a team, I have a test for you three." Kakashi paused in his speech to fish out two bells from his pocket alongside a little novel. As the three genin watched on, Kakashi remained silent.

Naruto watched in anticipation. While he had no clue what would be happening it was certainly better than being chased by Sasuke and Sakura... 'And all for a kiss, too,' he thought with disgust. "Kakashi-oji-san, what's the practice?" he demanded seeing as the jounin was caught up in his book reading, the bells tied to his waist.

Kakashi glanced up, a bit miffed at being disturbed. "I thought it would be obvious by now, I want you three to get these bells from me," he answered, rattling the bells. The three genin nodded and dispersed, leaving Kakashi alone in the clearing.

Or so he thought...

A slight shift in the air was the only warning Kakashi got as he leaped back, throwing a kunai at where he'd previously been standing. It came as no surprise to the jounin when the kunai was deflected by seemingly nothing. "Interesting jutsu, Naruto."

Naruto slowly faded into existence, a big grin on his face as he held up a bell in his hand.

Kakashi lowered his gaze at Naruto. "There's no way you got that bell from me," Kakashi challenged.

"Sure I did!" Naruto retorted as he swung the bell back and forth.

"Honestly, the bell you've got is golden and three times the size of the one on my hip," Kakashi deadpanned, eye narrowed a the gall of the blonde.

Naruto at least had the decency to look abashed as he tossed the bell at Kakashi. Kakashi watched the bell approach, for some reason his eye was glued to the path of the bell, transfixed as it sailed through the air. The moment Kakashi realized what was going on, he flared his chakra, breaking free of the genjutsu. "What the hell? How is it possible for Naruto to use an illusion like that?" he asked aloud to no one in particular.

It came as a surprise when he heard a voice from way to close for comfort. "It's called hypnosis, my family specializes in it!" Naruto had his hand on one of the bells resulting in Kakashi reacting before thought. The older ninja flashed his right hand out twisting Naruto's wrist and kicked the blonde dead in the chest sending him rocketing back into and through a tree in the distance. "Naruto!" Kakashi announced with worry, but was unable to attend the blonde as Sakura and Sasuke were on him like berserkers.

Sasuke was putting to use all of the skills he;d learned of his family's style, at the same time Sakura was throwing every taijutsu punch and kick she could recall from the Academy. "You hurt Naruto-kun, I'll kill you," threatened Sasuke, his voice betraying no compassion as his hands blurred through a series of seals. "Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu," he barked out, his fingers twisted in the fire symbol and placed in front of his mouth. With a deep breath Sasuke let loose a horrendously large fireball. Even as he fired it forward, he was moving, pulling Sakura out of the way.

Sakura gave a nod to Sasuke as she was placed back onto her own feet. The moment that she was on the ground, and the fireball was canceled by Kakashi, Sakura let loose a a salvo of kunai and shuriken.

Off in the distance Naruto was just rising, shaking his head as he slowly righted himself. "Kuso, that hurt!" He quickly got to his feet and darted forward to meet Kakashi, whose back was turned to him, fighting Sasuke and evading thrown weapons. Naruto planted a knee in Kakashi's back, only for the ninja to poof into a cloud of smoke.

"What the hell?" Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura all wondered aloud.

Kakashi, hidden within a bush was more than a bit surprised that things had turned out this way. He had assumed this would be a slaughterhouse with him laying waste to the three young ninja. Instead...

Kakashi glumly picked up a burnt book, the pages having been seared in the heat of the battle. "My precious Icha Icha," he noted with a solitary tear leaking its way down his face. "I guess I better get serious then," Kakashi stated as he rose from his hiding place. "Alright, Team 7, time to fight with all I've got!" he threatened as he lifted the hitae-ite from his eye, revealing a Sharingan.

Sasuke's eyes widened, him being the only one that recognized the importance of the eye. "H-How did you get a Sharingan?" Sasuke demanded, surging forward with his arms trailing behind him.

Sakura and Naruto shrugged, not really understanding nor caring too much about the situation. As one, Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke met up with their jounin sensei attempting to corner the man. Sakura opened with several kunai strikes trying to push back Kakashi while Naruto and Sasuke came from behind each holding one end of a ninja wire.

Kakashi didn't see the wire as he evaded Sakura's advance, especially when Sasuke tried for several punch combinations. As such, the wire managed to snag the jounin's wrist and Naruto was quick to connect his end to a generator he pulled from stuff-space (Stuff-space is a location most anime with comedic relief possess. Any item needed in a pinch can be withdrawn at the time required).

Kakashi felt several hundred volts of raw electricity flow through his body faster than his own Raikiri or Chidori attacks. The steel medium of wire was unrelenting and left Kakashi unable to fight off the chakra-less attack. After a few moments Kakashi's hair started to smoke, even if the jounin refused to let out even the faintest of cries. Seeing the smoke and recalling his father's advice about electrocution, Naruto turned off the power source and allowed their sensei to fall to the ground.

Seeing an opportunity, Naruto charged forward, full speed and snagged both bells before celebrating. He was joined moments later by his team mates. "Yay! We did it!" Sakura enthused as she leaped for joy. Sasuke merely grunted, and smiled proudly at his beloved Naruto.

Kakashi... Poor Kakashi was on the ground, twitching and unable to climb to his feet. 'Damn you, Ranma. I should have known you'd teach your son to cheat...' Kakashi pondered ruefully.

(With Genma in a Holding Cell)

Genma's concentration was legendary. The way he seemed to focus on the board before him made many lesser men fall away, fear in their veins as it would appear the panda-man was out for blood. More than once, Genma was had broken his opponent's will and thrashed many a man's dreams. This time, however he was at a stark disadvantage. All of his attempts to cheat were being met and stopped.

"You know, Shikaku," Genma began, his voice reflecting deep thought, "you have me at a disadvantage... But, how will you react to THIS?!" Genma challenged, slamming a shogi piece into place, which managed to remove a certain pawn from another area of the board, putting Shikaku at a disadvantage, his king being exposed.

Shikaku paled as he beheld the board. Somehow Genma had gotten through his defenses. Again! Add to that, he could have sworn he had protected his King earlier with a pawn. But now, he was exposed and Genma was moving in for the kill. "I-Impossible..." Shikaku whispered, trying to find a way to once again stop the elder Saotome.

Genma leaned back and chuckled a hearty laugh at the position his foe was now in. "I bet you regret detaining me just for this rematch now. Don't you?" Genma challenged, his gloating causing his chest to puff out.

Shikaku deliberated, seeing no obvious signs of cheating, though he wasn't actually sure how one _could_ cheat in shogi, so little did he know that the more he thought out the board and his gameplans, the easier it made the efforts of Genma. So saying, Shikaku placed a perfect movement to clear half of the board. "There! Now lets see you beat me, Genma-san!" Shikaku challenged.

Genma paled. 'Well, he's definitely got me now. If I don't do something drastic, this can get ugly and quick!' he pondered as he observed the board. Looking up, Genma saw the perfect move to make. "W-What the hell's that?!" Genma shouted, pointing animatedly behind Shikaku.

Shikaku spun around and looked behind himself to see what appeared to be four traveling monks. Though the size of the diminutive men was quite startling. "I'm not certain, Genma-san. I'll have ANBU look into it." As Shikaku's eyes came back to the board, he was treated to a sight that made his blood run cold. When he looked away Genma was losing, now that he looked back, Genma's one move had put Shikaku in such a tight bind, that the tactician could not think of a way out of it.

"Do you give up, Shikaku? This _is_ only a _game_," Genma taunted, pressing the buttons that would hurt the man's ego even more.

Shikaku, slumped his shoulders and hung his head. "Kuso... Fine you win, Genma-san. But, I expect a rematch!" he challenged.

**End of Chapter**

**Sorry for the late post. I normally just write and write until I've finished the chapter. Sadly, I spent the last week with family. Everyone decided they wanted to spend time with me. How terrible... **

**Any who, this is a rough and incomplete chapter, I've only read it over once. Anyone interested in proofreading for me?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A Man Amongst Men**

The sounds of insects could be heard in the early morning air. A gentle wind blew through the streets, slipping in and out of crevices between the various businesses and domiciles. The yellow all of light was slowly rising in the east, beckoning that all should open their tired eyes and return to the world of the living.

One such individual was quite opposed to obeying the sun's command. This individual upon closer examination was a kunoichi with black hair let loose for the night so that it fell to shoulders. Her face was a pale cream and though it was quite youthful and pretty it also had leftover odango stuck to it.

Grumbling at the offending ball of gas in her window, the kunoichi pulled her blanket over her face and turned her back to the sun. It was as her back turned away from the sun that four miniscule shadows appeared in the window. Each of these shadows took up a corner of his own; their facial details were blacked out by the sun. Each diminutive creature had wide, glowing white eyes focused with evil intent on the woman in the bed.

"She sleeps," observed one of the shadows, his voice raspy like dry leaves blowing in the wind.

"Mmm... That she does," came the reply of another, this one with a high-pitched, squeaky voice. If one were to guess, they would assume this one had only recently hit puberty.

"Oi, if you're gonna stalk me through my window..." came Anko's voice, her back still facing the opposite side of the room. "At least DO IT QUIETLY!" she thundered, firing off kunai at each of the shadows. Seeing as her back was to the men, and she fired in accordance to where the voices were coming from, it was amazing that each and every kunai landed on its mark...

Anko, grudgingly, took it upon herself to check on the four bodies she heard go _plop_ on the ground outside of her apartment. To her mild dismay none of the four had even tried to dodge the projectiles, almost as if dodging was a new concept to them.

Seeing the chest slowly rise and fall on one of the robed figures lying face down, she used a toe to prod the body. "Oi, are you still alive?" she inquired, hoping to hear a no.

_Groan_.

"Really? A groan is my reply?" she mused silently. Seeing as she was the one at cause the size of the four interlopers being that of children, Anko decided, against her better judgment mind you, to take them to the hospital. "I hope you brats like the hospital more than I do," she tried, her voice bitter.

Anko's hands flashed through a series of seals and she watched, impassively as three piles of mud rose from the ground, solidifying into duplicates of herself. "Well, no point in going back to bed now," she noted, staring forlornly at the door of her apartment.

"Snake Princess?" came a muffled voice. Which one of the four, Anko could not tell. Shrugging her shoulders, Anko took to the rooftops on the path to the nearest hospital. It was as she and her clones were in mid-flight, soaring from one rooftop to the next that she felt it...

Later That Day

Ranma sighed, more than a little annoyed at the turn of events. Sure the day was beautiful, and the weather was nice. The sun was shining rightly and there was not a wisp of a cloud in sight. However, Ranma's personal cloud was hanging above him darkening his day.

"Kuso! Why did Anko have to go and get herself kidnapped?" he demanded. This was not how Ranma was envisioning his first month returning to Konoha.

Off in the distance Ranma could hear the sounds of extreme physical conditioning.

"FIGHT-O! FIGHT-O! FIGHT-O!"

Ranma quirked an eyebrow. "That sounds a bit like Maito Gai," he reasoned.

Naruto, whom happily volunteered to accompany his dad on a roundup looked askance. "You mean the only guy that can rival you in hand to hand?"

Ranma looked down at Naruto a bit disapproving. "Please don't do that, Naruto."

"Do what?" Naruto asked, confusion evident in his voice.

"Don't provide dialogue for the narration. You don't want to be a plot-bot," Ranma returned, shaking his head sadly.

Naruto shrugs his shoulders, clearly not understanding what his dad meant and the two continued forward.

It was not even two minutes before the two were treated to a spectacle. "Oyaji?" Naruto called out. "Is that...?" Naruto, beside himself let the words linger in the air.

Ranma blink-blinked at the sight before him. "Yes, son... I do believe it is."

The sight before the two males was quite a familiar one. This place being a Konoha training ground, it was expected to look like a training ground. Only this one was quite reminiscent of Jusenkyo. There were pools everywhere about and bamboo shoots standing high and tall.

Without thinking, Ranma and Naruto dashed forward, both singing "Neva gonna be a girl again!" as they dived into the Naniichuan (Cursed Spring of Drowned Boy).

Only to emerge as wet young ladies. One a redhead and the other a busty blonde. "What the... Hell IS THIS?!" demanded Ranma in an overly cute falsetto. A notable tick mark was above her forehead as she took stock of being wet and female rather than male.

Naruto was equally miffed, only she was more cold from the freezing water and quickly got out. "Oyaji, why are we still girls?" Naruto demanded. However, had anyone other than father and son been there, they'd be wondering why Ino was calling a young redhead, only a few years her senior "father".

It was this exact scene that Team Gai approached to see. Needless to say Gai, Lee and even Neji soared back with nosebleeds as the overly busty redhead pulled off her top exposing said bust for all the world.

Tenten had a bit of a blush, but was mostly angered at her perverted teammates. "Really guys? I am right here you know!" she barked, kicking the prone form of Neji.

Ranma, spotting the company flashed her hands through a series of handsigns and released a jet of hot water on herself and Naruto. "Man, am I glad I learned that jutsu!" Ranma said, as his form shifted from teen female to adult male.

Tenten blushed a bit harder, seeing the topless male with well-defined muscles. "U-um," she worded astutely.

Naruto grinned at the unconscious forms on the ground and tossed a sharpie at his dad. "Have at it, I'll explain to the girl."

Ranma's face went from miffed to a very evil looking smile. The grin on Ranma's face stretched so wide that Cheshire cats everywhere grew envious. Without fanfare Ranma went about doodling on the faces of the unconscious ninja.

(Meanwhile)

"Saotome-kun," began Hiruzen. His visage was serious and sober.

"Sarutobi-kun," Genma returned, his visage equally serious. "This matter is most certainly a serious one."

Hiruzen nodded, his fingers leafing through a few pages as he glanced the paperwork over. "Of that I am certain..."

"There's only one recourse left to us," Genma began, his hands flashing through unfamiliar seals.

Hiruzen's eyes widened at the handseals. He had learned them from Genma long ago. "Surely it's not so drastic as to need to use THAT?!" he asked, gulping in trepidation.

"I fear, this will only work if the two of us do it in unison!" Genma admonished, confirming Hiruzen's fears.

"If you insist, then I suppose I must assist you in this endeavor."

Genma gave a nod and the two men flashed through a series of seals at blazing speeds. Even as the handseals finished the two men burst through the door of the office and came to a stop in front of the secretary's desk.

"**Secret Ninja Art: Howl of The Stranded Baboons!"**

"We're so sorry!" Genma cried. The men had fallen to their knees before the secretary arms raised high and bowing til the forehead hit the ground in complete supplication before raising at the waist to bow again.

"Please forgive us!" Hiruzen chimed in.

"We won't throw water balloons at you again!" The secretary raised an eyebrow, recalling the incident well.

"Or call you an old spinster!"

"Wait when di-" before she could finish that question she was interrupted.

"We won't get too loud with our laughing!"

"We won't even laugh when you're around!"

"We just wanted to have a bit of fun in our old age!"

"Yeah! We may die tomorrow from old-age!"

"I don't think you-" she began only to be cut off again.

"Just cause you're content to live a life of boring nothingness doesn't mean everyone has resigned themselves to that fate!" Genma accused.

Hiruzen nodded sagely as the two continued bowing. "Yeah, Genma is right! You should loosen up a little before you become an old maid."

A very aggravated tic formed on her forehead just above the right eye.

Genma, never content to leave well-enough alone, continued. "Why I bet you haven't had a date in ten years!"

"Yeah and you're serious business-like demeanor scares all the guys away!"

"You probably forgot how to dance since none of the guys every asked you out!"

"Maybe if you drank a little too you'd be a normal woman and not a horrible monster!"

"A horrible monster with badly trimmed eyebrows!"

"Badly trimmed eyebrows with pimples all over her face!"

It was at this point that said horrendous monster with badly trimmed eyebrows (tho a distinct lack of pimples) brandished a mallet from stuffspace and punted both men into the stratosphere.

"BAKA!" she called out behind them as she watched them fly.

(Back to Ranma)

Ranma stopped in his doodling for a moment to shiver. "Whoa. Somehow I feel like I just dodged a bullet."

Naruto paused in his explanation to look at his dad. "Hey, pops... What's a bullet?" he asked. Tenten was equally confused.

Ranma looked over askance, a nervous look on his face. "Nothing, Nothing at all. It's just an expression." He quickly went back to doodling on Neji's face.

"Uh huh.. Dad's weird like that sometimes. Same with Grandpa, always making up weird expressions of stuff I've never heard of."

Tenten nodded sagely, as if understanding perfectly. "Say, Naruto... I know it's a bit forward of me, but would you like to go grab some ramen together? I know this really awesome stand back in town!"

Naruto grinned ear to ear. Nothing like a Saotome stomach to alight a fire in the eyes. "Sure! Let's go!" Naruto agreed, grasping the odango-haired girl by the hand and leading her away, ignoring the blush marking her face.

Gai, the first of the males to recover "felt a disturbance in the Fires of Youth" and darted upright. "Tenten, that's so youthful! YOSH!" he cried loud enough to be heard throughout the clearing, making Tenten's blush increase all the more. Her blush changed to annoyance at the thumbs-up pose he was giving when she looked back.

(Sailing With Genma and Hiruzen)

"Nay, Genma-kun," Hiruzn began. At Genma's focus of attention, he continued. "You don't suppose we went a little bit overboard with our apologies do you?"

Genma rubbed the back of his head and gave a small chuckle. "Of course not, old friend! You just have to remember that she is a woman! And women are just over-emotional! Why I'm sure that this is just her violent-natured way of saying she forgives us!"

The Sarutobi stroked his beard in thought as the pair continued their flight. "Perhaps you're right, Saotome-kun."

(Meanwhile)

Gai restored by the power of Youth to his mighty and tall stature allowed his thumb to rest and stood near Ranma, ignorant of the doodle on his face. "Ranma-san! You've returned for yet another duel I see! Very well, I shall accept and defeat you or else I will do five thousand pushups blind-folded with both arms behind my back!"

Ranma quirked an eyebrow, wondering if what Gai said was true or not. "Oh yeah, I bet I could beat you like drum in this fight and THEN do _six_-thousand pushups blindfolded with both arms behind my back and a two-ton boulder on my shoulders!"

Gai balked, his jaw temporarily unhinged. "Your Power of Youth is astounding, Ranma-san! Very well let us duel!" he challenged, taking a pose, both fists on his hips as he stood atop a rock-formation with waves crashing around him.

Ranma likewise fell into a pose, one in which he held one finger high into the sky while he stood alone in the desolated ruins of a still-burning city. "I'm the Best there ever was and ever will be!" Ranma gloated.

"Oi, Oi," came a voice from the treeline as another ninja approached, his lower face covered and his left eye hidden by a hitae-ite. "Aren't you getting a bit distracted Ranma? You're supposed to be forming a team to save your fiancee," Kakashi drawled. The last thing he wanted was a contest of show-boating between Gai and Ranma.

Ranma faceplanted. Slowly, he rose back to his feet. "That's right... How did I forget that?" he wondered quietly as he recalled needing to save Anko. "I guess we'll have to fight after the mission, Gai-san."

Maito Gai gave a brilliant thumbs up and the three men leaped away from the field ignoring the two unconscious genin in the clearing.

It was Ranma and Gai departed with Kakashi keeping each man focused and in line that Naruto had finished his tale Jusenkyo. "And so, when we get splashed with cold water, we turn into our cursed forms. Hot water returns us to normal!" Naruto declared, his right finger pointing up as if he were giving a lecture to a class.

Tenten, being the amazing young Kunoichi that she was, took this whole spiel with as much solidarity as she could muster. "How... strange...?" she offered, not quite sure if she _should_ offer condolences. "Um, where did your dad and my sensei go? I never saw them go," she inquired looking around at the training grounds. No sign of of either male could be seen.

The sounds of groaning drew the attention of Tenten and Naruto. It was Lee that groaned as he started to get up, wiping his youthful nose free of the unyouthful nosebleed he had just suffered from. Beside the green spandex-clad ninja the Hyuuga prodigy began to rise to his own feet, but pride refused to allow him to grunt or moan.

It was as the two stood and faced Naruto and Tenten that the two young teens broke out in laughter. "Bahaha! You've got to be kidding me!" Tenten giggled. At Neji's inquiring look, Tenten merely shook her head and stifled her laughter. Naruto, though sporting a toothy grin and fox-like eyes, restrained his laughter, waving the boys off. "Oh, it's nothing," Tenten offered.

Neither teen seemed to be buying into the female's words of sway. "Explain. Now," Neji demanded. Lee looked at Tenten with clear confusion.

Tenten looked to Naruto with a pleading look in her eyes. Naruto flashed her a smile that promised the girl would not be happy if he ever called in this favor.

"You see, what happened was..." and so, Naruto began to spin a tale for the two boys that would leave even the best interrogator enraptured. So it was of little surprise that neither boy paid attention as Naruto cast a hypnotic suggestion that neither would notice the markings on either of their faces.

As the two Jounin accompanied Ranma Kakashi couldn't help but to ask, "so... Who's next on this list of yours?"

Ranma's expression darkened momentarily as he thought of just who he could get to go with him for a mission. Someone that had never gone on a "Save The Princess" run with him yet. "Ummm, it's a toss-up. Either Sarutobi Asuma or Gemma, the toothpick guy..." Ranma stated, noticing that said "toothpick guy" was standing across the street enjoying a cup of some kind of drink as he conversed with Asuma.

Ranma turned to look at his companions. "I'll be right back. You two stay here, and when I tell you to run, you guys high tail it as fast as you can to Inuzuka Tsume's house. No slacking, Kakashi!" Ranma ordered. Getting a nod from the two, Ranma walked into the diner.

"Kakashi-kun," Gai started, looking his eternal rival up and down. "I will beat you to Tsume's house at top speed! If I don't I'll..." he paused t think of something most youthful like Ranma would come up with.

Kakashi, hearing the gears cranking, took the opportunity. "If you don't beat me, you'll shave your head bald and stop wearing green spandex for two months," Kakashi intoned, finger raised as the thought occurred to him. _There's no way he'll-_ whatever else Kakashi was thinking was put on hold as Gai was agreeing tot he bet.

Just as Gai was about to state what Kakashi would have to do should he lose, Ranma bolted from the restaurant, holding a bundle of some kind of cloths in his hands. "GO GO GO!" he shouted, leaping a two-story building in a single bound before vanishing from sight.

At that moment. Gemma raced from the restaurant waving his hands as he tried to placate the mob of angry kunoichi. "I swear I didn't actually steal your panties and bras! That was a lie, by that guy Ranma!"

"Gemma," shouted the collective horde. "We reject your logic and continue to accuse you! Now take your beating like a man,' they demanded, brandishing pitchforks, shovels, brooms, frying pans and burning torches.

Sweating like a pig, Gemma turned about in time to spot Gai and Kakashi gracefully exiting stage left. C'mon you guys, you must've seen Ranma come out too right? Right?" he pleaded. Seeing the two Jounin run away, Gemma did the only logical thing in this situation. He turned tail and raced after the duo.

(At Tsume's House)

"What the fuck are you talking about, Tsume!" Ranma thundered, pointing an accusatory finger at the woman.

Said woman, one animal-specialist Kunoichi-extraordinaire by the name of Inuzuka Tsume was currently sitting in a reclining chair on the patio-deck of her home as Ranma glared daggers at her and the object of his ire. Tsume merely shrugged and continued grinning without concern to the plight of the pig-tailed man before her. Plucking a bit of wax from her ear and flicking it without a care in the world, Tsume repeated her statement. "You heard me, Ran-ma-kun," she teased, her voice dancing in a sing-song melody.

Ranma grumbled and grumbled, completely discontent in the situation. "What yer sayin' just don' make any sense! How can he..." he paused, not wanting to allow that statement to continue, as if not saying it would free him of the burden tossed on his chest.

Tsume's aloof smile formed into the wide grin of a predator that just cornered its prey. It's fat juicy prey. "Oh trust me, Wild horse. I recall that night _very_ well! Now it's your turn to step up to the plate!" Tsume challenged. Seeing Ranma about to protest, she twisted the knife she had in his open wound. "That is, unless you aren't man enough to do it?"

Those words danced through Ranma's mind, repeating again and again. "You're only half a man!' he heard. "There's no way a girly-man like you could ever be half the man that I am!" was yet another voice taunting Ranma. Ranma's fist clenched tightly even as his eyes screwed shut. "Stop being a little girl, Ranma!" was the annoying voice of his father.

Suddenly it occurred to Ranma that the last voice was actually from behind him. Rage in his eyes and a blue battle-aura springing forth, Ranma turned to face his father, who was still tossing insults about his manliness in various voices.

Yup, there was Genma, squatting low with his hands cupped over his mouth as he called out insults in a fashion similar to that of a flashback. To his side, Sarutobi Hiruzen was waving a steel plate as if it were a fan to distort the voices of Genma's.

Ranma clenched his eyes and raised a fist to his eye level. "Ano na..." he intoned before punting both men in low earth orbit. "Don't remind me of bad insults in my life, BAKA!" he shouted at the forms that were rapidly fading from sight.

Tsume, Gai and Kakashi glanced back and forth between Ranma and the departing forms of the two reckless old men. "Um, Ranma," began Kakashi, his voice reflecting awe and trepidation at the same time. "You know you just punted the Hokage... Last time you did that you had to fight the whole village, remember?"

Ranma sweatdropped. "Oh yeah.. I forgot," he offered lamely. All parties facefaulted, twitching on the ground with the fingers in Hawaiian fashion and sporting swirling patterns in all exposed eyes.

Recovering quickly Tsume swatted Ranma on the back of his head. "Anyway, it's about time that you took your son under your tutelage. He needs a father figure," Tsume demanded, glaring daggers at Ranma.

Ranma sighed, rubbing his eyes in a way that showed how tired he was. "If he's my son, why the hell didn't you tell me before? I'd have taken him with Naruto ten years ago!" he shouted, feeling quite perturbed.

Tsume's only answer was to shrug her shoulders. "Well, you know. This and that," she explained. Ranma and Gai nodded their heads respectively, seeming to understand.

Kakashi merely chose to ignore it. It was during this exchange that Gemma finally caught up with the group, panting and gagging, his ever-present toothpick having fallen out somewhere along the way. "Yyou.. could've...ww-aited..." he panted, his hands on his knees. Sweat poured from the Jounin as he tried his best to regain his composure.

Ranma looked askance at Gemma. "Seriously, We were going kinda slow. I thought you'd be better at long distance running by now, Gemma? I know I trained you better than that..."

Gemma deadpanned Ranma, for the moment his breeathing back under control. "You never trained me, Ranma..."

Kakashi, Gai and Tsume wore sweatdrops like it was going out of fashion. "Huh. Really? I thought I did," Ranma pondered, his fingers stroking his chin.

"We're only a couple years apart, you know?" Gemma offered, trying to get Ranma back to reality.

"So it would seem," Ranma noted, staring at Gemma suspiciously.

The sound of Kakashi clearing his voice got everyone's attention, namely Ranma's. "Now that we're all gathered, shouldn't you tell everyone what the mission is?" Kakashi offered. Sometimes he wished he could just go back to reading his Icha Icha books. He idly fingered the spine of the book in his lapel. _Soon,_ he whispered in his mind, promising to free his beautiful darling.

"Heh heh," Ranma laughed lamely, rubbing the back of his head. "Right, the mission. Anko's been kidnapped, and we got to go rescue her. You guys are gonna be my team, along with Gai's team and Kakashi's team."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow at this. "You mean I've been following you around all day when I could have told my students to prepare for a mission hours ago?" he offered, confusion on his face.

Ranma smirked at Kakashi, infuriating the Elite ninja. That smile always meant something bad would follow. "You know, Kakashi. You can always create shadow clones and send them to each student. It cuts down on retrieval time by leaps and bounds!" Ranma offered.

_Yup_, thought Kakashi, glumly. _Definitely hate it when Ranma smirks_. Seeing as he had no other option as the rest of the team had already been gathered, Kakashi formed a seal and into a large plume of smoke, two additional Kakashi were standing amongst the group. "Naruto already knows, but tell Sasuke and Sakura that we have an important mission to go on. Ranma's gonna pay for an A-Rank"

Each of the clones nodded and took off in a random direction.

Turning to Ranma, Kakashi sighed. "You know, I was kinda hoping to get my Genin used to D-rank missions and then slowly work them up to C-Ranks... Knowing you, this mission will turn S-Rank or SS-Rank," Kakashi accused, his only visible eye expressing annoyance.

Ranma shrugged and began to walk away.

"And where d you think you're going, mister?" shouted Tsume as she threw a pan at the back of Ranma's head.

Now an interesting thing occurred at that moment. Had someone thrown a sword, a dagger or even a shoe, Ranma's reflexes would have made his body move, reacting to face a threat. However, these same reflexes had been trained that certain female indignations, especially those that forced females to throw kitchen supplies, were deemed as responsible punishment. Thus it was with great surprise that Ranma was smashed in the back of his head by the flying frying pan, and after a moment to feel the lump grow in the palm of his hand, Ranma collapsed to the ground, his eyes swirling.

(With Naruto)

The streets of Konoha were abuzz. Strolling along on the street dressed head-to-toe win a bright orange jumpsuit was a certain boy that in another lifetime would have been wearing this same outfit as he prepared for his first D-rank mission. However, as the timeline was changed, the individual that was destined to be alone and ostracized now found himself the center of attention in a different light.

Since no one in the village had the displeasure of watching Naruto grow up, they were not aware of the fact that he was the "demon", and so no one treated him as any different than a young ninja child. What's more, they knew he was Ranma's son. So while half of the stores triwed to overcharge the boy to earn back what Genma had stolen from them, the other half gave the boy stuff for free after some debt that was owed to Ranma.

Naruto loved it! He felt like a prince, and being accompanied by Tenten, who stood at his right, and Neji and Lee to his rear, the feeling only increased. For a moment, Naruto imagined that he Tenten were a royal couple, traversing the streets with their armed guards to the rear.

This fantasy was quickly and spitefully hit by a bus, run over by a train and dropped from an airplane. "Saotome Naruto! PREPARE TO DIE!" came a thundering roar as Shikamaru sailed down from the sky, arm pulled back and ready to punch the blonde's lights out.

Reacting on instinct, Naruto wrapped an arm around Tenten's waist and jumped back. Just where the two were standing before Shikamaru landed heavily, punching the street with all of his might. It came as a bit of a surprise that the ground cracked and splintered in a spiderweb pattern.

All the nearby residents old enough to have remembered Ranma and his amazing exploits quickly closed up shop and cleared the streets. The younger generations merely looked on, wondering what the commotion was about.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow, appraising the boy before him. "Yo, Shikamaru? What's up?"

Shikamaru, sporting a rather unhealthy smile as it was way larger than should be physically possible, formed his hands into a seal, one hand on the other. "I was gonna be the bigger man and step down, allowing you to marry the girl of my dreams! But after witnessing your philandering ways, I must kill you, Saotome Naruto!" Shikamaru declared. He really had no idea why he was explaining himself, but it just felt right.

Unbeknownst to anyone there was a certain group of gods and kamis watching with bated breath. "And they say the remake is never as good as the original," came the voice of Aphrodite, purring as she stroked her own leg.

Back on earth, Naruto was nimbly dodging the tendrils of shadow that raced along the spiderweb pattern of the road. The tendrils continuously attempted to catch the leapfrogging ninja in orange. "I have no idea what all those words mean, but if ya wanna fight, I'll give ya one!" Naruto threw back, his speech pattern falling into the male dialect.

Shikamaru, seeing that his normal tactic wasn't going to work here, decided that he'd better reveal his new move. "Naruto, I invented this technique just for you. You should feel honored when I kill you with it!" Hands blurring through seals, Shikamaru ended with the traditional shadow stance, hand over hand. "**Shadow Style: Bursting Hands**!(1)" he called out.

Naruto paused for a moment to see the new technique. He watched as the shadow tendrils chased towards him once more, only this time as Naruto moved at the last second, the hand that missed him raised from the ground and sailed through the air following the Genin in his arc backwards.

Whistling low, Naruto came to a landing on the rooftop of a building. "Now that was close. Your range is still too limited Shikamaru. All I have to do is stand back here and fire weapons or jutsu at you. You better come up with something to prevent an enemy ninja from doing just that," offered Naruto, pointing out the glaringly obvious flaw in the technique.

Shikamaru growled low under his voice and broke off the attack. "You may have stopped my technique this time, Naruto, but mark my words... I will defeat you and free the lovely Ino from your control!" he threatened before falling into his own shadow and having that shadow vanish from sight.

(In The Uchiha District)

And so it was, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura were sitting nose to nose, glaring daggers at the other, each holding an obento in the others hands. "I don't know why you'd try, Sasuke-kun. You know you can't cook. Besides, Naruto is a man! There's no way he'd be interested in another guy like you!" Sakura accused, poking said Uchiha in his tight pec.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as he glared the girl down. "Naruto's also a ninja, do you really think he'd want a flat-chested gorilla that epitomizes status quo?" Sasuke asked before losing the glare to stare at the girl aloofly , as if she were a waste of time.

"S... Sasuke..." Sakura grit through her teeth, a notable tic mark on her forehead as her anger grew within her. **"You gonna let that asshole talk to us like that? Show him who's boss!" **cheered Inner-Sakura. _"You're right! I'll show him flat-chested gorilla!"_ she returned. **"Shanaro!"**

Sasuke was sporting an amazing smirk, one that would have made Ranma proud should he have seen it! "That is my name, Sakura-_chan_," he teased, stressing the honorific.

"I'm giving you one chance to take it back... or," she paused to punch her fist into her palm. "To the moon!"

Sasuke's smirk merely grew. "You're assuming I'd let you hit me. I am going keep this beautiful skin of mine unblemished for, Naruto-kun. Not all course and pockmarked like your _moon-face_," he returned, his smug look remaining on his face.

Sakura, with unrestrained fury lashed out, trying to punch the lights out of Sasuke, only to meet with air as the Uchiha heir deftly evaded her blow. "Just because you're ugly ad refuse to accept the truth doesn't mean I will let you hit me!" Sasuke jibed.

Growling Sakura swung her leg with a vicious kick that was easily side-stepped. A right and left, a reverse spinning kick, all met nothing as Sasuke danced away from her.

"Hey what's going on here?" came an inquisitive voice. A voice that sounded a lot like their sensei Kakashi. Turning to see the source, both teens were given their orders. By the clone who quickly dispelled itself.

(Elsewhere)

Kakashi suddenly had a look of fatigue on his face. "Well I just got a load of information from one of my clones. He found both of my students together, arguing over Naruto."

Ranma grinned like a kid in a candy store. "Well, he certainly takes after me, even if I'm not his biological father," Ranma offered, plot-botting.

This statement drew the attention of one Inuzuka Tsume. "I hope you don't mind, but I sent for Kiba. He's gonna accompany us on this trip. It's about time you spent some time with your son!"

Ranma deadpanned, staring flatly at the woman before him. For the life of him, Ranma could not recall ever having sex with Tsume in which he had released his seed into her. He'd always been so careful as a boy! Shrugging his shoulders, Ranma released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Oh well, time to meet my son, I guess. Any other surprises for me, Tsume?"

Tsume, whistling innocently as she stared into the sky was not exactly a good sign...

**END OF CHAPTER**

(1) Shadow Style: Bursting Hands – I just wanted say I need someone to help me translate this into a Japanese approximation. Its not the same technique as the shadow binding. The binding wraps a person's body from the ground up. This technique allows the shadow tendrils to leap into the air to grab a person's shadow while they are in the air.

**Thanks for the patience folks. This is rough and shoddy as hell... I haven't been able to freely write for the longest! I always get pulled to go here or there. You know. **

**Hope you all had a laugh this chapter I know I did.**

**SSTR87**


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